Hocus-Pocus Lotus Locos ~ The one inappropriately funny collaboration

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Within the English Province of Cheshire,
Sacred Lotus flourishes along the mire.
Beneath the Cattails, up Lotus’ holed lace
a little boy once tilted his curious face….

Sometimes the Sacred Loti makes scared boys
unable to count to ten, wind-blown, maladroit.

For Bastion though, close only counted in horseshoes
(and hand grenades, which made him afraid), whose
fear of holes and need for control, was never dulled
no matter how many blanks he filled… not until grown.

Sometimes Noblemen are bequeathed ignoble fortunes,
if the Bastard’s slung arrows of outrageous abhorrence…

Such was the illicit got lot, of the Noble Bastard Bastion of Cheshire
in scorning horned redhead Romani’s fiery desires, who after awhile
with amourette brunettes, dark-haired donnas who Amaretto-binged
(after they spilt their guts, just for him to jilt their milk when he split),
hell-raised a harem’s unquenchable revenge against him ’til the poor
Cheshire sour-puss’s head curiously dropped down dead… premature.

Pissed off bombshells led by a hush-hush Slavic blonde mistress
fueled by rage and Vodka to the cooch-tease with the coin fetish,
with a candlestick, snatched his Lota lamp bank; Rubbing limp dick
to the nymphets who wished to get laid, Bastion could only get lit
putting coins in puss-purses, infuriating the reverse gang-rapists
smashing the flaccid shell of the nervous turtle lacking firmness!

Left shortly with a healing chode, he slowly hit the road, not heeling
those daughters of Achilles, who couldn’t snatch the snapper weenie.
No longer playing pipe, Full Monty python no longer dancing pantless,
in quicksand sinking, bit the harem heels crushing his head, heedless.

Sometimes escaping out the frying pan, just means landing in fire.
Sprung free, he quickly jumped down a well he wished to fill higher!

Within and throughout the English Province of Cheshire,
Sacred Lotus flourishes along the mired, long admired
Sixpence desires, which more than once made a dent
with heads and tails in the Tomcat’s smile, at last rent.

Sometimes the wide abyss of heaven’s holey gate opens,
to rain misfortune thick upon Bastards with slot tokens!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & RY HAKARI
© All rights reserved 2015

21 thoughts on “Hocus-Pocus Lotus Locos ~ The one inappropriately funny collaboration”

  2. It was so much fucking fun! You highlighting our idea with “Sometimes escaping out the frying pan, just means landing in fire.” brought to mind a poem I wrote on June 23, 2013, titled “1, 2, 3 (tried to make me), 4, 5, 6 (cross the river Styx)” that I think will shock you, considering the overarching idea for our collaboration, Bastion being chased by the harem, and jumping down the well, was your idea first! I had forgotten I’d written it, I hope it brings a smile to your face! How strange and great of poet friends we make! 😛

    “1, 2, 3 (tried to make me),
    4, 5, 6 (cross the river Styx)”
    by Ry Hakari

    My isolation’s complex, like in a hardening concrete case.
    All these indirect invertebrates ever have to offer is base,
    expecting a long-distance, long-suffering smiling face–
    like I cannot feel my existence abased, slowly erased,
    or my time stolen and raped by the wild goose chase!

    Oh I know the sophistry of all the secret somebodies
    who have seemed to have a stymied soft spot for me,
    though this seven year war was supposed to sound
    like the swirling symphonies of sirens serenading me…

    Who the hell in heaven
    on earth in my world
    of hurt in my head
    have you been thinking you are
    if you have been thinking at all?
    Hidden reefs at pretend love feasts,
    with fictional intentions to eventually send
    imaginary invitations to speakeasies that don’t exist?
    (just hot air from fires under frying pans)

    Manipulating mental programming, machining a man hertz.
    Chagrined again by disconcerting cognitive dissonance from “hers.”
    “She grinned again”, I imagined ever time I burned inside circuits…
    “She”, that her, that incarnate spirit in every one of them since the first,
    conniving with knives thrown from darting eyes seeking me like a curse!

    Symbolism, stringing me along with sugary syllogism
    and an infinite spaghetti strand spun from a spool,
    similar to lady and the tramp, ‘sept I am the trampled on
    and miladies like shady maladies set off my allergies…

    Who the hell in heaven
    on earth in my world
    of hurt in my head
    have you been thinking you are
    if you have been thinking at all?
    Wandering stars with twinkling eyes,
    with no real plan for an end to the surreal pain
    of the game making me go insane?
    (fanning the flames here with waving hands)

    It’s almost like I’m psychic Unbolt, especially the first stanza! It’s like we were meant to collaborate on your idea! 😛 It was even partially inspired by the song “Eyes On Fire” by Blue Foundation, which plays on the idea of leaving someone sexually unsatisfied with the lyrics : “I won’t soothe your pain / I won’t ease your strain / You’ll be waiting in vain / I got nothing for you to gain”.

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  4. Can’t leave you two alone for more than a few minutes, LOL! This is wonderful, creative and very clever. I am looking forward to future collaborations between the two of you, especially if it’s more of the same, “cooch-tease with the coin fetish”!

    Alice ♥

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