You can’t wear a shirt
with the words ‘Bad Girl’ in bold
and a Prada bag
hanging off your bangled arm
and bling-bling knuckled fingers.
I can list the stuff
inside your brand-name feedbag
with closed eyes. Firstly.
Coelho. A paperback.
(You adore vanilla quotes.)
Audio Chopra –
there’s only one way a girl
like you navigates
that upwardly mobile maze.
This said with no irony.
A piece of paper.
A worn cinema ticket
to the world premiere
of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.
Why? It’s your holy scripture.
Valium six pills.
You think life’s a tv show
with a mean laugh track.
Anxious you swallow one, two.
Don’t doubt it’s anything else.
Pink lip gloss, of course,
because your overworked lips
should shine on selfies…
And please, wipe that dry white spot
at the corner of your mouth!
A pack of wet wipes
to soak up cum on your back.
You’re careful like that.
You’re not loose, you lie to him.
Bitch knows how to make a man.
Should I continue?
I know you from the ground up.
Your current ringtone.
Your preferred brand of tampons.
You’re an open book for me…
…and I hate you, slut!
At the clearance sale you grabbed
from under my nose
the LAST cut-price Prada bag
and MY SIZE of the pink shirt!
Maybe I’m going to blush right now. Damn! It’s hard to be a good girl around this cheeky Babe (by the way, she is part of the crew ‘Conceited Crusade’ which violently fights with villainous bad writing and not to give indulgences to anyone… Beware, lazy potboilers!)
Well, okay… never mind. I’m not a hypocrite. I’m NOT going to blush. I love what we did. Thank you, Babe! It was great and… hey… Hey, you! Don’t touch this bag! It’s mine!
P.S. By the way… Prada guys! Don’t think we forgot about you! We performed our part of the contract. Where’s our money? Where do we sign?
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & LISTENTOTHEBABE
© All rights reserved 2015
Brava! That’s for Tati.
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Take a bow, Tati! 😀
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МО-ЛО-ДЕЦ!
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Спасибо, Долли!
(Мы похулиганили от души.) 😛
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Мы в Вашем возрасте еще и не так хулиганили. Однажды написали целую оперу на музыку Чайковского, в которой кроме мата были только местоимения и запятые.
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Грёбаные пассатижи! На такой опере я бы точно не уснула. (Были прецеденты.) 😛
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😼
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LOL! loved it. I’d rather mess with an angry bear than stumble into the middle of a good sale.
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LOL! Thank you! It’s so very true! 😛
(and I wouldn’t envy even a pack of angry bears if they stumble upon my friend Henry Game into the middle of a good sale.) 😯
https://unbolt.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/blunt-cunt-the-one-well-the-one-pretty-sassy-collaboration/comment-page-1/#comment-4380
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Bwaa haa haaa! Mr. Game is just the right partner to keep the snatchers, grabbers, and elbowers at bay. :-). Loved that advice about proper storage safety with shears. 🙂
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Hee hee hee… Yes! 😛
(And I still wonder… what is Henry going to do with fairy liquid, Oxo cubes and a hair dryer? Gunpowder? Remedy for diarrhea? Dust for levitation?)
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I’m betting it’s a new kind of repellent for those over aggressive sales shoppers 🙂
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OMG… Of course! Of course!
Bearish Freshness.
Only today and only here! Buy one, get one! 😛
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Tia ! Wow ! I adore just how contemporary you are with your soulful paradoxical nature I so much love … Ive worn silver city pink lipstick ever since the 60’s when I was a teenager ( it’s my “signature ” lol ) …you are a delight , dear young friend ! Hugs , megxxx
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(I blush like hell now… but OK! My curiosity won!)
Oh, Meg, please, please, say that you were hippie!!
I can bet, you were so lovely with flowers in your hair ❤ ❤ ❤
(I'm not an expert of cosmetics, to be honest… but I googled 'silver city pink lipstick'. Revlon, yep?) 😛
I love you, Meg, and I love your young spirit!
Please, never change!
Your sassy Tia XXX
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You’re so adorable Tia ! Yes , I was hippie and still am ! ! !
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Oh, I knew this! I felt this!! (and I immediately recalled this amazing song that Tony introduced to me recently.) Love, your Tia XXX
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ugh you write so well
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Oh, shoot! Thank you, Stasia! ❤
(Hee-hee… I hope, it wasn't TOO sassy for such a tender age like yours) 😛
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welcome !!!
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Faaa-aaa-aaabulous work, guys! 😛
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Oh… that’s show biz! Thank you, dear sir 😛
Hey… by the way… where did you buy such lovely suspenders? 😯
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I stole ’em. Maybe. 😛
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Fantastic. I laughed at the end, I like this attitude, I pretty much like all straight-up-ness, fuck that bitch! Poke her in the eye and kick her in her fake tanned shins. Pull the shoe lace out of your hooded top and strangle the cunt. Then, drag the body away and bury her with her arse hanging out of the ground, naked, in the hope that a bear or something gets its wicked way with it…o’ too far?
My bad…
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Oh… Gosh! Hallelujah!
Now I’m sure that real men still exist! Henry, please, may you go with me to the clearance sale this weekend? I saw such a lovely ivory peignoir and a silk cartridge pouch! But I’m sure, this bitch who lives in the apartment next door had her eye on this! Please, come with me…
Please, please, pretty fucking please with cheese on the top!
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Don’t even play with me on this. I’m fucking sharpening my gardening sheers as I type this reply. Condoms, fairy liquid, two Oxo cubes and a hair dryer packed and I’m on my fucking way baby
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Okay-okay! Cool down, alpha male!
(by the way, don’t put your sheers near condoms… ) 😛
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I still like a brown paper bag
Call me old fashion
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Oh… now that’s such a wise decision, Sheldon! 😛
Please, take care, have a great weekend
and don’t visit these silly retail outlets!
Your Tia
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Oh wow!!! Sweetie I’ve been lucky to know you forever and well….. I know my ❤️ is bright red 😜
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Thank you, Walt!
(OMG… did I blush again?)
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Your soooooooo awesome and sexy my ❤️
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I told Babe how much I love it! Love the sassy!
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Thank you very much, Sam ❤
Yes, I saw your comments (and I really can't wait to see the duet between you and Babe! It's going to be grandiose!)
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Oh, this was great! How dare she?!
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Aww… Marissa, you got the point! You understand the real scale of this tragedy!! Thank you for your support ❤
(And thanks Gods, real men still exist! This bitch was punished) 😛
https://unbolt.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/blunt-cunt-the-one-well-the-one-pretty-sassy-collaboration/comment-page-1/#comment-4380
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