Tati as TATI
Tony as TONY
ACT 5 SCENE 3
THROUGH THE LOOKING HOLE
Set in the lounge room of a cosy three-storey tree house in an unspecified fantasy location.
TATI is sitting in a comfortable armchair. She is reading a book entitled ‘Unicorn Farts: How the Rainbow was Born’ with a serious face.
TONY wanders in, wearing a sandwich board advertising something called ‘Hole-in-the-Wall’. He turns to the reader (that’s you) and bellows…
TONY: You! Hey you! Yeah, reader! This is a hardcore sales pitch!
TATI: What the hell?
TONY: Buy our stuff! Buy it now! Buy it or die! (Well, everyone dies. Eventually.)
TATI: Tony…
TONY: Just goddamn BUY our stuff so we can get filthy stinking rich and avoid paying taxes like the top one percent! Yeah. Just… YEAH.
TATI: Tony.
TONY: Do it, man! And woman. Plural.
TATI: TONY!
TONY: What?!
TATI: This is shit and you know it. It wouldn’t even hook a dead fish.
TONY: Huh?
TATI: Take off that silly hairpiece, please. You’re not Donald Trump.
TONY: I’m only trying to spruik our new shop page.
TATI: Hole-in-the-Wall isn’t a fly-by-night pyramid selling scheme. It should be presented with dignity.
TONY: Fine. I’ll be boring then. Dear reader, Hole-in-the-Wall is our new shop page. You can find it here on Unbolt Me, and it features our first two eBooks. Eventually, we will have other stuff you can buy as well, but for now please do enjoy our literary offerings.
TATI: Amen.
TONY: Oh, and our books will help you to lose weight. Maybe even get rid of dandruff and carpet stains…
TATI: Tony! Are you an idiot? Do you want to be beaten for your shameless lies?
TONY: Frickin’ women. Can never make ’em happy. Not ever.
THE END
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016
unbolt me 
After going through a few of your posts, and seeing that you also write poems just like me😀, I decided, if you don’t mind, to have you as a guest on my blog; I’d love to interview you😊 although it seems like I’ve seen your blog somewhere. Well, if you accept, we can connect and talk about it
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We’d be delighted to be guests on your blog. What a kind offer! Thank you so much! You can find our contact details here: https://unbolt.me/about-us/ We would absolutely love to hear from you! 🙂
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Sure thing.
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It was confusing😕 do you have Instagram or Twitter?
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Sorry for the confusion! You can try admin@unbolt.me to contact both of us. I hope this helps! 🙂
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I always love shameless self-promotion! 😉👍
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That’s a relief, ‘cos we’re definitely going to be doing more of it… 😛
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😂😂😂😂That’s great! I eagerly await more!
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Punchy writing x
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Thanks! We love to keep things short and simple whenever we can! 😀
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“Oh, and our books will help you to lose weight. Maybe even get rid of dandruff and carpet stains”
Such nuggets of humour
Love it
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We certainly love to pepper that kind of thing throughout. So glad you appreciate it, Simone! 😀
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LOL! That is awesome. love it!!!
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Hee hee! Thanks, Jake! 😀
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Zany humor at its best. What a unique way to pitch a book. Keep the magic flowing you guys. =)
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It was heaps fun to put this together, Kevin. We’re so glad you liked it! 😀
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You guys have just made my day!!! ‘Take off that silly hairpiece…not Donald Trump’. Tati and Tony…brilliant. Defo going to check out new online store!!! Thanks again for being brilliant! 😘
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Thanks again for your awesome support! You dunno how happy it makes us! 😀
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