This morning, I thought:
“I’ll get a tattoo, three symbols F32.”
On my neck or wrist,
anywhere above a pulse.
To remember that life beats
even under F32. It’s there,
even when you’d rather
make it stop.
Even when smiles break crooked,
when laughter freezes into sarcasm,
when all the razor edges
cannot set free the lost and useless
soundless screams.
I’m done. I promise.
I’ve put the razors down.
I’ll find a tattoo parlor
for one last game of sharpness.
They ask why would I want
to carry on my skin a code and summary
of things best left on wards or in therapist’s chairs?
(Quiet! The first rule of the category F club
is not to mention the category F club.)
The strange part is, I’m not ashamed.
Do I even need a reason beyond “I want to”?
I still am F-ed up in the head, remember?
Besides, a reminder that I promised myself
to live, to give up the flight and the fight
may actually be of use.
It’s decided: I pick the wrist.
To get through moments like this:
breath in, breath out, make fists,
open palms, touch air. Look at your wrist,
breath in, breath out, go on.
by ALEXANDRA OMELCHENKO
© All rights reserved 2015
unbolt me 
Oh Wow!. That is a great piece of mind dancing. I love it.
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We quite agree, Paol. We’re glad you agree! 😀
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Had to look up ‘F32’. I must say, this is well written and crafted in its imagery of wordage and brilliance.
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Hope you got the reference, my friend. I trust you’ve been well? 😀
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Got the reference good. Yes, I’m doing well. 🙂
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Once I discovered what F32 meant I reread it and I love this! Wonderful post!
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We love it so much. So glad that you did too! 😀
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I did not get the reference to F32. I also have thought many times of a tattoo on my wrist, but the scars there speak also in a language different from words, but perhaps just as powerful. Thanks for writing this.
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Hiya, Rebel. I hope this link helps. Scars definitely are a language… wordless but no less powerful. Tattoos might mute that…
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Thanks for the reference to the DSMV ICD.10 code…I am not that familiar with the codes, though I work in a mental health clinic, it is as a peer specialist. I deal much less with diagnosis than with wellness and recovery goals and supporting our members towards those goals they have chosen to work towards.
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That must be quite rewarding work!
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Great piece of work, love the tone and how it’s put together. Had to look up F32 to understand it, fab guest post. (Can’t believe 108 likes but no comments? Is WP playing up?)
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Nope. It’s just me getting a bit behind with replying to comments. Thanks for reading, Fraggle, and I couldn’t agree more! 😀
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Hey Fraggle. I am the same. One hundred likes – no comments. It’s like you open your front door to visitors – they all drop in and drink your booze and then leave when you’ve ducked out to the shed for more beer and no one says ‘thanks’
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There’s a lot of it about! 🙂
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I really love the last line. I can’t explain why except the more I read it the more the words ‘go on’ stand out. I guess it makes me think of all the people trying to just go on and probably struggling in silence. Good poem 🙂
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That’s what I thought of too, Laura. Well said! 😉
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Wonderful! Touching!!
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Agreed! Thanks so much for visiting with us!
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