SPAM® Sushi #19

Don’t disregard to factor in the costs and benefits to your loved ones close-mouthed friends and classification as amply as deal with associates who are feigned by way of your baleful behaviour.
— SaturasIntagorgo

Dear SaturasIntagorgo,
There are certainly benefits to using our loved ones and close-mouthed friends to cover up our baleful deeds, and we never miss an opportunity. We always wear gloves with their fingerprints on them, and carry samples of their DNA (they’ll think twice about spitting in our faces next time!).
Right now we’re going to sneak into the kitchen and commit another crime of the century—pick the chocolate chips out of all the cookies—and none of the proof we leave behind will point to us. (Of course, we could do this after our loved ones and close-mouthed friends unlock the closet where they’ve detained us because they’ve decided to overlook our baleful behaviour.)
— Tati & Tony (Two Astonished Miscreants Who Cannot Believe That a Close-mouthed Person Can Even Spit)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

7 thoughts on “SPAM® Sushi #19

  1. Don’t stop at just removing the choco chips. Replace them with raisins for a truly horrific crime.

    Also carrying a different set of fingerprints with you is real smart. That way whenever someone asks you to open your phone, it won’t recognise the print.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hilariously put and this line is thought provoking – (they’ll think twice about spitting in our faces next time!) I hope to recruit the deserved candidate for the post and now I have a job of figuring who grabs it first. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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