Looking Back, Hoping Forward

TONY: Hoo boy… 2020 was an absolute train wreck, wasn’t it?

TATI: Do you think so?

TONY: Totally! You don’t agree?

TATI: Nope. (Give me Fresh Salmon please…)

TONY: Really, Tati?! So, you loved 2020? (Erm… here ya go.)

TATI: It is not the year that makes us, but we that make the year. Do you agree, Button?

BUTTON: Bring on 2021, I say!

TONY: Hm. I never thought about it that way. Makes sense, I suppose…

TATI: Let’s not think about what 2020 took away from us. Let’s recall what we added to 2020.

TONY: Making lemonade from lemons, huh? Yeah, let’s do that. You start!

TATI: I am pretty proud of relaunching Trottersville. (Okay, Pale Coral now…)

TONY: Yeah, that was pretty cool. (Pale Coral comin’ right at ya… I guess?) And we made a new postcard series with the characters from that strip too. I love those postcards! Do you, Button?

BUTTON: Hells no! Nothin’ but silly talking pigs. (And their pinkest piggy arses!) You should make a comic about me instead.

TONY: And we joined Tapas and WebToon, two cool comics websites that are now home to Trottersville. It’s great to have somewhere to put this strip after reworking many of the old scripts, then redrawing and recolouring them.

TATI: I participated in a translator’s contest. I also began translating our comics into Russian and Ukrainian. And we contacted some comics publishers and got some rather warm feedback. It’s cool, don’t you think, Button?

BUTTON: What?! Why bother with silly translations when you could be ghost writing the memoirs of my extraordinary life?

TONY: All of this kinda makes 2021 seem more hopeful, right?

TATI: Don’t you feel so? And we’re in the middle of preparing some new books and launching a cool new video channel too! (Tony, that’s Shadow Rose! Can’t you tell the difference?)

TONY: How the hell are we managing to do all this?! We must hate sleep or something… (Sorry. Is this it?)

BUTTON: Sigh. Why does no one listen to me?

TATI: I don’t know… but, Tony, do you still think 2020 was a train wreck and gave you nothing but a deficit of hand sanitiser and toilet paper? (And I asked for Fandango, not Flamingo! Even Button knows the difference!)

TONY: God. Those empty store shelves still haunt my dreams… Still, I have to agree. It hasn’t been all bad, has it? What do you think, Button?

BUTTON: That’s nothing! I’ll show you what a real wreck is!

TATI: I agree that it hasn’t been all bad. And I believe our dearest Readers will have at least one nice thing to remember from 2020. (Crazy Strawberry now please…)

TONY: We can hope! (Jeez. Aren’t they all just the same stupid pink?! Just point at the correct freaking one already!) And anyway, we should at least wish all of our Readers a Happy New Year. May 2021 be a year of renewal and reconstruction!

TATI: As for us, we promise to continue making cool stuff—despite pandemics and closed borders—and (hopefully) bring you some joy with our creative effor…

TATI & TONY: BUTTON!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

Who Let the Pigs Out?

Dear Readers,

We are forever thinking of new ways to delight and entertain our audience. Many of you know already—and if you don’t, we hope this will be a pleasant surprise—that we not only write different strange texty stuffs but we also produce strange comicky stuffs!

So, given that boredom is the enemy of blog readers everywhere, we have taken it upon ourselves to present to you our new comic strip ‘Trottersville’. Well… technically speaking, it’s not completely new. Tony produced some original versions of this series more than ten years ago. One version was presented to the internet in black and white, and another version was in colour. It seems that he couldn’t resist the perfectionist’s obsessive need to refine and refine and refine. Ah, the mad, balmy days of youth!

Over the years that followed, this series got buried under heaps of exciting new plans and projects, but then Tati entered the room and flipped the script—in a figurative and literal sense. She saw the potential in this funny little piggy comic, and pestered Tony into bringing it back to life. And so a ‘restoration’ project of sorts was born. ‘Trottersville’ would shine again!

We like to think that the series has been further refined with this latest incarnation. Whole strips have had their scripts tweaked or rewritten from the ground up. All strips have been completely redrawn by Tony and coloured with the able assistance of Tati. Yes, even Tati couldn’t resist the urge to join in on the fun of making comics, and it turns out she’s a natural! We hope you like our work!

So, if you’re as excited as we are—and we’re pretty freaking excited!—and you wish to see our brand spanking old/new creation, you’re very welcome to join us at these online digs:

Tapas          WebToon          Patreon          Ko-fi

We plan to update these sites with a new episode of ‘Trottersville’ every Saturday, and all of them will be open and free for everyone. Sounds too good to be true, yes? But it is true!

Oh, and there will be a special surprise for our dear patrons. In addition to a new, shiny-as-fuck penny of a strip in your Patreon mailbox every Saturday, we’ll also provide the original black and white counterpart that was created by Tony back in the good old days. And we will be utterly delighted to hear what you think about our hellbent, unkosher adventure in general. Holy crap we’re excited!

Strap yourselves in, guys. It’s gonna be an oink fest!

Your Tati & Tony

PS: By the way, Tati is also hard at work translating the series into Russian. This is something that makes Tony feel insanely happy because he loves seeing strange looking pigs say ё, ю, ж and other funny symbols in speech bubbles. Maybe you will love this too. Stay tuned!

THE CRUMBCAST // He Said, She Said…

Guess what? I’ve gone and done the unthinkable, and re-recorded episode twenty-five of The CrumbcastJoining me for this reboot is my wife Cassy whose talky talky abilities far exceed my own. Seriously, she knows how to keep a conversation going when all I tend to do is waffle on like a prat. She’s got the gift of the gab, you could say. And, actually, Tati and I have often discussed the possibility of making Cassy our agent…

“So, why redo this instalment of the podcast?” you may or may not be asking. Truth be told, I was deeply unsatisfied with my previous effort, and felt it would be better to have someone to conversate with. My recording experiences with Peter have given me a taste for this, and so I’ve decided to continue in this vein. And anyway, does anyone in their right mind really want another long, tedious, rambly monologue by me? Of course not!

So, what do we talk about this time? Well, what don’t we talk about! Let’s see… The Crumble Cult strip Subversive Element‘. Blue hair. Tattoos. Sluts. How to make a sister write your comic for you. Hell, social mores and more! Y’all are gonna have a great time with this one, and mostly because my better third is so utterly intelligent and engaging!

Oh, and please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below. And maybe even leave a question you’d like us to answer in the next Crumbcast. We can’t promise that we’ll be able to address everything, but we’d love to try! So, go ahead. Ask!

PS: To listen to the podcast, click on the image below. Yes, it’s real magic in the digital world, I tells ya! No pesky sciencey stuff here!

 

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #14

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Tati as TATI

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Tony as TONY

 

ACT 103 SCENE 54
A SPOONFUL OF SARCASM & WOE

 

Two weeks ago…

Tony’s kneeling near the living room wall in sackcloth and ashes, wailing his sad little heart out. He’s smacking his brow against the wallpaper very hard.

TONY: No sleep, no rest for my tormented soul!

Tati walks in, licking a spoon smeared with cherry jam. She wonders what the hell Tony’s wailing and smacking about. She can see that the wallpaper’s taking quite a beating. She mutters under her breath.

TATI: And no money for new wallpaper.

TONY: Oh, I weep!

Tati sighs with great resignation. She senses a tedious conversation ahead. Time to make it interesting.

TATI: The only logical explanation for this is you’re rehearsing ‘Prince Igor’.

Tony stops smacking and wailing, and turns to face her.

TONY: Huh?

TATI: If so, I suggest you perform the ‘Polovtsian Dances’ in the second act. It’s my favorite part. I bet you have the voice of an angel.

Tony’s heart warms with gratitude.

TONY: Aw, what a lovely thing to say!

TATI: A castrated angel.

He looks at her like he’s been slapped with an electric eel.

TONY: Well, I never…

Tati gives her spoon another lick. It’s clean now, and she seems to be quite pleased with herself.

TATI: Never say never. Anyway, what’s gotten your panties in a bunch this time?

TONY: It’s our Patreon. Ah, me! Ah, woe!

TATI: Did you forget the password again?

TONY: No. I have it tattooed on my inner thigh.

Tati makes a mental note to change the password as soon as possible.

TONY: We’ve lost a patron. And now we’ve gone down a whole dollar! We’re going to starve! We’re going to die!

Tati looks at her spoon. That’s food for thought.

TATI: And you suppose your wailing will attract a new patron? I think not! More likely you’ll chase the remaining ones away. You could do something more useful than ruining our flat in an orgy of grief you know.

Tony puts on a petulant face.

TONY: Oh, and seducing new patrons with your saucy condiment licking skills is more useful?

Tati gives her spoon a musing lick.

TATI: There’s nothing saucy about jam.

Tony is quite exasperated now.

TONY: I don’t give a damn about your jam, Tati! We need more bloody money!

TATI: And you need to chill out. There’s always a solution to these things.

TONY: Then tell me what it is!

Tati looks at her spoon again. Unlike Tony, she seems calm and collected, almost contemplative even.

TONY: You and that fucking spoon…

Tati ignores him.

TATI: I’ll tell you what we can do to give our Patreon a new lick of life. We can make our own comic.

Tony’s voice takes on a sarcastic tone.

TONY: Comic? What an unexpected solution! Isn’t this something we do already? Oh, and by the way, the expression is ‘lease of life‘.

TATI: Yes, comic. But a better one. A super-puper wonder comic. One that’s exclusive to our Patreon. And maybe our Ko-fi too.

TONY: I don’t drink coffee!

TATI: Who cares? I do.

Tony rolls his eyes.

TONY: So, Super-Puper Wonder Woman, what is this comic going to be about?

TATI: Do you remember those two creatures you callously killed off in your ‘Crumble Cult’ webcomic?

TONY: Killed off? No. I’m afraid I’d remember something like that.

TATI: Think. They were tiny… and completely, utterly helpless.

TONY: This isn’t making me look very good…

Tati points her spoon at Tony in an accusing manner.

TATI: They even had names! How could you?!

TONY: What the hell?! No, I don’t remember this at all!

TATI: Exactly what a killer would say! Mork? Brandy Snap? Do these names ring a bell?

TONY: OH! Marth and Bramwell!

TATI: Yes, exactly what I said. Anyway, we can resurrect them. We can kill them on!

TONY: That makes no sense…

Tati ignores him.

TATI: They can be the main characters of the new comic we’ll write and draw. And I have an idea about the first strip…

Tati gives her spoon another lick before remembering that there’s not one dollop or iota of jam left on it.

TATI: Let’s discuss this over biscuits and jam.

Tony slowly gets to his feet, spreading ash everywhere.

TONY: I’ll go to the kitchen then.

TATI: No, you’ll go to the store. There’s no jam left in the house.

A sarcastic tone creeps into Tony’s voice.

TONY: Fine. What flavour does her royal highness want?

TATI: Hm. Peach. I’m feeling very peachy today.

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Present day…

TONY: Well, what shall we write for our introduction? We’ve got to let people know about our new comic strip.

TATI: Let’s discuss this over biscuits and jam.

TONY: I’ll go to the kitchen then.

TATI: No, you’ll go to the store. There’s no jam left in the house.

TONY: I’m feeling a sense of déjà vu. Let me guess… peach?
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Dear Readers,

While Tony tries to navigate his way through the supermarket revolving door, and Tati plays a hyperviolent video game where she kills waves and waves of mutant jam roly-polies, you have time to hop over to their Patreon page to read the first instalment of their new bilingual comic strip, ‘Marth & Bramwell’. And you can also read it on their Ko-fi page if you prefer.

This strip will be a free, ongoing feature that you’ll be able to read at any time. It will be updated monthly with a fresh episode. You can even bookmark their Patreon or Ko-fi page so that you won’t miss a single one. They have plenty of adventures in store, so stick around and please enjoy!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019