EARS WIDE OPEN // bussed & buzzed (liplocked)

We wouldn’t be going against our hearts to say that we wrote this one as lyrics for another sappy and silly love song. We even tried to create a melody, and Tony almost had the cheek to sing to it. Alas, we’re much better singers and musicians in our heads than we are in actual recordings. And, quite frankly, we’d have to wait until Hell turned into a winter wonderland before any famous recording companies began a bidding war for this potential… erm… ‘hit’. (Will Rihanna be pushing Beyoncé aside to perform with us any time soon? Probably no.)

Anyway, common sense prevailed, and Tony did his best reading instead. Yes, he mustered as much heart and feeling as he could, and all to the accompaniment of a wonderful track by Kai Engel of the Free Music Archive. This poem is based on a real event that holds special significance for the two authors. Perhaps you, Dear Reader, will also be able to make it your own as you reflect on your loves, both past and present.

 

bussed & buzzed (liplocked)

we kissed on a jetty high above the fishes
where warm swells loll in gentle squishes
where sundog sprawls over planks like a cat
and morn’s dew hangs tight like an acrobat

we kissed on a jetty ramshackle and treen
where birds chirp loud in kerfuffle and preen
where air tangs the nose, spicy and salted
and time’s put on hold, stately and vaulted

sometimes dreams do come true
sometimes no
sometimes love says to you “adieu”
sometimes “hello”

we kissed on a jetty ’tween shanties bareheaded
where moorings in summer are a web of ropes threaded
where jong-jong gently knock wood together
and pair to wrest free from seabed’s tether

we kissed on a jetty scalloped and shelled
where stormwater drains acapella and meld
where the sun swings low beyond the equator
and nestles sleepily in an extinct crater

sometimes dreams do come true
sometimes no
sometimes love will gift a horseshoe
sometimes a blow

we kissed on a jetty ’neath stars’ cutting swathe
where moonglade outlasts nude lantern’s bathe
where anemones bloom below neptune’s throne
and crabs sleep like heirs under mossy stone

we kissed on a jetty at the mouth of time’s flow
where the days are real quick and the nights are real slow
where ardour pulses through the veins of conviction
and temptation receives cupid’s benediction

sometimes dreams do come true
sometimes no
sometimes love colours you blue
sometimes yellow

 

Text by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
Audio by KAI ENGEL & TONY SINGLE
Image by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

Open-Source Poetry #4

Dear Readers,

Our communal Open-Source Poetry experiment continues, and it’s proven to be just as popular as when it first began! Your fine efforts have helped us to craft a fabulous new poem so far. We cannot wait to see how it turns out! Freaking awesome!

So, anyway, we received about thirty-five submissions and had a really hard time picking only the one. Moreover, someone threatened us with mob law if we didn’t pick a particular line, but we dug our heels in and remained staunch straight shooters. (Hullo, Son Of Dewangan! You can mail us the cockroaches any time. We’re not afraid! And our address is… Erm, actually, let’s just forget about that little detail for now…)

Oh, hey! You know what else? We’re on the cusp of a New Year! Can you feel the excitement and anticipation? We totally can, so please do keep your contributions coming. We love everything that you, our Loyal Readers, have created so far. Sodio1 wrote the next line, so please put your hands together in appreciation for a job well done! Truly, utterly excellent!

Okay, no time to waste! Let’s move onto to the next round, guys. Knock our socks off! Knock ’em right off ’cos we can’t wait to put them on again! (Yup, we’re a bit strange that way.) Oh, and for those that need a little reminder of how this all works…

1) We provide the next line of the poem.
2) You write the following line.
3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
5) We publish every line to date in a follow-up post.
6) Steps 1-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

WOOHOO and a Happy New Year! Hoo YEAH!

Вензель

What if I said sorry for saying sorry all the time?
Or should I just give you a baby porcupine?
Alas, it will be one and the same outcome
Saying sorry results with quills in your bum

From now on I will change my approach
And make the pine and quill my coach
My steel derriere, my impenetrable armour

Вензель_нижний

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA, TONY SINGLE, PHOENIX RISEN, ARTSYCHICK82 & SODIO1
© All rights reserved 2017

awesome sauce

they go together like avocado halves
but not because they’re wrinkled and green
it’s all about the seed and how snugly it fits
what can separate them? not a guillotine!

they go together to make the creamiest dip
naughty guacamole, with sea salt and lime
improper yet tasty in their wonderful mess
they’re willing partners in gastronomic crime

sloppy and slippery and buttery too
they’re low-cholesterol and evergreen-young
complementing one another in velvety sin
they’ll dance fuckenwacken on the tip of your tongue!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017

Fuck-ups, Dreams & Harsh Reality

Is it the end of 2017 already? Damn!

In 2016, we published two books. In 2017, none.

In 2016, we met one time. In 2017, none.

In 2017, Tony didn’t become a heavy metal star, and Tati didn’t get her Noble Prize in literature.

But, hey, this doesn’t make us losers. After all, we have done other things! Let’s list them, shall we?

We’ve begun preparations to publish a Crumble Cult collection. Yes. In print. In three languages. Wow!

We’ve launched our very own Patreon page, and now have the financial support of some very generous benefactors. We could not do any of this without you guys!

We’ve also started some new books, with plans for more. One about cavemen. Another featuring a marshmallow tree. Yet another covering the ABCs of life. And Tati’s novel continues apace.

Tati even achieved some personal career growth. She got herself a new office, huge table and colleagues. And she got a bigger salary. But she would also be happy to kick all of this to hell and spend life as a writer of renown in some exotic, far-off clime!

Oh, and Tati began learning to draw. (Watch out, Tony, she’s going to take your job!) Tati even proved herself as a translator, and continued her education in English. So many strings to her bow!

Speaking of Tony, he got a new mop, cleaning agent and rubber gloves in 2017. He even played some exciting video games and continued dreaming of being Tati’s dogsbody in some exotic, far-off clime. He dreams big, you know!

Tony also continued to sweat over the editing of Tati’s writings, and tried to be impeccably polite about the quality of her drawings and pronunciation.

Anyway, 2017 has made us very sure that we’re on the right path. You see, Unbolt Me is no mere whim. We do crave to change our lives, and in so many respects. Just watch us!

Dear Reader, we want to thank you for walking with us every step of the way these last few years. It’s a long journey we’ve embarked upon, and we are grateful for your company. Seriously, your support means a lot to us!

Ultimately, the measure of our success will be the people who sniff the new print smell of one of our books. It’s a thought that warms us. It motivates us. And it’s you, Dear Reader, who will make that possible.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017

THE ABCs OF A PECULIAR LIFE // F is for Fallow & Freckles

Kamil had been cultivating freckles all his life. It was a respectable family-run business. His father, his grandfather, and his great grandfather before him had all been freckle growers of considerable renown. Their freckles were the pigmentiest of all freckles, and as such beyond compare.

Of course, the business had had its ups and downs throughout the years. They’d almost gone bankrupt in the Victorian era. The skinny, pale, society bitches had shown a preference for frills, power-cleavage and arsenic rather than healthy, non-GMO, organic freckles. But then freckles went gangbusters in the swinging sixties, and the advent of flower power and nude love-ins made everything better. Freckles staged an unexpected comeback.

The golden age of hippiedom returned hope and prosperity to Kamil’s family, and so they dared to buy extra hectares of arable lands. They began growing new varieties of freckles, the more popular ones being shaped like horseshoes, others that twinkled like newly pledged promises, and even more that could be removed and placed elsewhere on the body at will.

Soon, everyone who was anyone was lining up to buy freckles to adorn their bodies with. It got to a point where such luminaries as Mark Zuckerberg, Prince William, Ron Weasley and even Peppermint Patty were counted among Kamil’s most elite clientele. And although negotiations with Leonardo DiCaprio and Garfield regrettably fell through, the demand for freckles was so great that their loss was barely felt.

Of course, the word ‘fallow’ should also be remembered at this point. Growing freckles depletes the soil badly, and after every harvest it’s recommended that the land be left to rest for a period of at least twelve months. If this is not adhered to then instead of freckles only polka dots for panties will grow. But who wants to wear polka dots on the face? No one, that’s who! And that’s why Kamil failed to become a gazillionaire. Alas!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017