ACT 10 SCENE 2
THROUGH THE BLOWING HOLE
Tony comes into the room with a sad face.
TONY: I have news.
Tati blows soap bubbles from a little bubble wand.
TONY: Actually, it’s two pieces of news. Which first? Do you want the good news or the bad news?
TATI: Start with the good.
TONY: Okay, well… Ray gave Mooreeffoc five stars and wrote a brilliant review.
Tati continues to blow bubbles. It looks like she’s trying to get a very big one, but it bursts every time. Tony looks quite annoyed.
TATI: Yes, I’ve heard.
She continues to blow. When another bubble bursts, she says crossly…
TATI: So, shoot! Give me your bad news!
TONY: Ray then gave One Pulse one star and wrote a… well, less brilliant review.
Tati has switched tactics now. She’s begun to blow as many small bubbles as possible.
TATI: Yes, I got you the first time. What’s the bad news?
Tony looks embarrassed. The bubbles have begun clinging to his head. He now looks like Bozo the Clown with frothy hair.
TONY: Five stars. One star. Good news. Bad news. I guess it’s all the same to you, huh?
TATI: If we want only five star reviews, we should ask our moms to write them.
TONY: But don’t we want that? Five star reviews make us look good, and hopefully we sell more copies that way.
TATI: Dunderhead! Every opinion counts! Even the ones we prefer to forget. How else can we improve?
Tati looks musingly at all the bubbles floating around.
TATI: And no one can accuse us that all our reviews are written by friends and family members. Sycophants!
Tati’s gaze settles on Tony and his ridiculous clown hair.
TATI: By the way, you need more shampoo.
She holds up an empty shampoo bottle and wiggles it in Tony’s face.
Tony tries to speak, but only bubbles come from his mouth. Each one floats towards Tati and pops, revealing a letter. They spell out…