awesome sauce

they go together like avocado halves
but not because they’re wrinkled and green
it’s all about the seed and how snugly it fits
what can separate them? not a guillotine!

they go together to make the creamiest dip
naughty guacamole, with sea salt and lime
improper yet tasty in their wonderful mess
they’re willing partners in gastronomic crime

sloppy and slippery and buttery too
they’re low-cholesterol and evergreen-young
complementing one another in velvety sin
they’ll dance fuckenwacken on the tip of your tongue!


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callipygean clasp

i melt into your arms
decoherence, tummy to tummy
i’ll ditch me for a quantum of calm
yeah, for that i find in you

now, what did you say
whisper to me in my ear
oh, this goes where…
but your eyes are up here…
(am i a cannibal if i eat down there)

i want so bad it’s good
my hands amok across your bustle
rock your bloom from the inside out
ask again why i need you


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THE CRUMBCAST // Lovers of a Lesser God

I hate being preachy, but I feel I might have crossed that line with the latest Crumbcast. I guess this stems from the fact that I’m finally ready to reveal what I really think when it comes to relationship and religion (with a dash of sexy sex thrown in for good measure). Of course, it’s not as if the world is breathlessly awaiting my opinions! I’m certainly under no illusions about that. Really, I’m only doing this because I want to. If someone’s willing to listen… then great!

Also, it’s only fair that I warn my religious friends and readers that some of the views expressed in this episode may be offensive to them. While I don’t feel it necessary to apologise for said views, I do want to acknowledge the distress that they may cause. So, please do be aware that I don’t take this lightly, and that I hope we can at least agree to disagree. It would be grand if we could still be chums anyway. Yeah, let’s give peace a chance, man!

Oh, and please do feel free to read Matching Jeremy Tang for some much needed context regarding this installment of the podcast (which can be found below). Crumble Cult is my baby, so I enjoy having people fuss over it! Hint. Nudge. Insert winking smiley here…


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