The first episode of my new vodcast series is live. It’s called ‘The Crumbcast’. Please feel free to leave more questions in the YouTube comments (or here) for upcoming episodes! And share, share, share like you’ve never shared before because that’s the law. You don’t want to break the law like a common criminal, do you?
Yours excitedly,
Tony!
by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2026
There is only one of these childhood treasures left now. Rest in peace, Mr Oddie. 😔
by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2026
Down through the ages, Russia has tried to kill the Ukrainian identity. They have done everything to present Ukraine as the rural outskirts of the ‘great, educated and advanced’ Russian empire. But the ones who proclaimed themselves enlighteners were merely butchers, murderers. They did everything they could to erase Ukrainian culture, traditions, and even the Ukrainian language itself.
And they are still doing this, even now, literally. During the last eleven years of war, Russia has killed hundreds of people of literature. Writers, poets, translators, editors, publishers and librarians. Ukrainian men and women. As you read these words, others are left to disappear in an unread draft forever.
There is a project called ‘Nedopysani‘ (‘Unfinished‘ in English). It’s a memorial site for people of literature who will never be able to put that final dot in their notebook, who will never be able to take into their hands their first published book. And so, this is our hard and painful mission. This is what we must do for them. It is inevitable.
Today, we present the next instalment of our translation series, ‘Words Live On’. We have done our best, and we hope that it will speak to our Dear Readers in a way that cold, clinical war statistics cannot.
Glory to Ukraine! To our heroes — glory!
I will shit under a bush in the quiet woodland
In peace, in bliss, amid the scent of grasses
That is nirvana, my dear friends
And like this, in nirvana, no one has ever shitted
Don’t yell, no need to, you’re cynical people
That my poetry’s about the act of defecation
Keep calm, everything will be all right
At the proper time empty your digestive tract
I’m for everything good, may all be well
May only goodness prosper, may evil disappear
And may all kind people live in happiness
May only the Huylo in Moscow drop dead from the shits
Під кущем насеру в тихій лісосмузі
В тиші, у блаженстві, в ароматі трав
Отака нірвана, любі мої друзі
І отак в нірвані ще ніхто не срав
Не кричіть, не треба, ви, цинічні люди
Що в моїй поезії дефекацій акт
Зберігайте спокій, все нормально буде
І звільняйте вчасно ваш кишковий тракт
Я ж за все хороше, хай всім добре буде
Хай добро лиш квітне, і хай щезне зло
Й хай живуть у щасті усі добрі люди
А від срачки здохне у Москві Хуйло
Original poem by MYKHAILO MARIANYCH
Translation by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2022
Sweep and sweep and sweep the floor,
Sweep the dust, pick up the pin;
Make it clean from fire to door,
Clean for father to come in!
Mother said that God goes sweeping,
Looking, sweeping with a broom,
All the time that we are sleeping,
For a shilling in the room:
Did he drop it out of glory,
Walking far above the birds?
Or did parson make the story
For the thinking afterwards?
If I were the swept-for shilling
I would hearken through the gloom;
Roll out fast, and fall down willing
Right before the sweeping broom!
by GEORGE MACDONALD (1824-1905)
Public Domain Poetry
Third time’s the charm. Or so I’ve heard it said. Hopefully, that will be the case here.
I’ve tried the podcasting thing twice before to varying degrees of non-success, but it’s something I’d like to try again. While I don’t enjoy the sound of my voice, I do like using it to record things.
So, here’s why I’m telling you this. While I could record a monologue and make that a podcast, these aren’t necessarily to everyone’s taste. Perhaps a short Q & A format would be better, yes? If you agree, and if there’s anything you’d like to ask me about, then now is the time. It can be literally any topic! Just pop your questions into the comments section and I’ll answer what I’m able in the reboot of a little podcast series I like to call ‘The Crumbcast’.
And, look, I understand I’m nobody, but who knows? Me gassing on about whatever subject tickles your fancy could be… well, a gas. Okay… a gas for me. Okay, fine… I’m a gasbag. Is it getting gassy in here?
Yours precariously,
Tony!
by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2026
unbolt me 