100 WORD SKITTLE // An Egg State of Mind

Look at him! Chillax Diddy, the gangsta rap penguin, is having a most copacetic time with his entourage of loyal hoes. Lucky dawg!

Hey, bro, you want to impress the hoes too? Put on a tuxedo! Of course, penguins are pretty lucky in this regard. Their skin suit’s their evening wear, and it never shrinks in water.

As for lyrics, just ‘Baby, I’ll sit on eggs for you!’ will get the hoes wet. You might think that sounds disgusting, but not to them. They love a bad boy who’ll also be their big daddy diddy at home. Stone cold diggity!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

100 WORD SKITTLE // Purrrfect Evolution

When you compare the cats of today to their predecessors, you realise just how tiny they’ve become. Domestication has taken the sabretooth out of the tiger, so to speak. Well, not quite all of the tooth, but you get my meaning.

On the other hand, cats have become much brainier, more sagacious. They’re so small that they must be quick on the uptake if they hope to continue to live in clover. Well, not quite in clover, but I’m sure you get my meaning.

Anyway, they’re cute when they purr, and only scratch and hiss occasionally. It’s a fair trade-off.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

100 WORD SKITTLE // Leave Well Alone

Every day is perfect if we leave it alone and don’t try to do something with it. Once we try to make improvements here and there, everything goes down the drain. The whirlpool of truth favours no one.

I believe it’s the same with people. Look at that overweight guy who walks up the street day after day, chowing down on a hamburger. Perfect! Don’t ever try and tell him he needs to start dieting or to fasten a shoelace. He might trip and end up rolling into a storm water drain or something. What a disaster that would be!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

100 WORD SKITTLE // No Place for Pink on Komodo

The setting sun’s an angry red ball, though the beach is charmingly pink. A trick of the light? She cannot say.

Still, that isn’t her most pressing concern right now. Reptilians are all around, flaring nostrils and licking the hot air with their viciously forked tongues. They can sense her presence. It’s driving them crazy with lust.

She’s the Blood Queen. She gorges on the blood of men, and sometimes even wears their entrails for fun. Naturally, she’s going to attract attention from the local population.

Never mind. The odds are good. She’s the prize for whomever gets her first.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

100 WORD SKITTLE // Plantocracy in Action

Tasha Quatro’s head was ready to burst. She’d spent the last few hours trying to find something unambiguous to write about, but every attempt brought only further disappointment. Pineapples weren’t fruits. Tomatoes weren’t vegetables. And now she wasn’t even sure if she was Tasha or a big, fat potato-head.

This homework was killing her. Botany was her least favourite subject, and it hung above her head like the sword of Damocles. She looked over at the nearest table where students from the law faculty worked casually on their own homework. They were laughing like crazy, discussing Nix v. Hedden and sharing sips from a flask of what she imagined was alcohol. Tasha felt a bad attack of envy.

The next day, Tasha went to the Dean’s office and handed in an application to change faculties. Botany was too vague a science for her taste. The world of law seemed much more exciting, more stable and reliable with its facts. It couldn’t be misinterpreted or distorted.

[Though this has 165 words, the case of T&T v. Common Sense decrees that it must be classified as a 100 Word Story. The court records cannot be shown because much of their contents have been redacted, but you can bet your sweet bippy that our arguments were watertight and completely valid. Ergo, this is a 100 Word Story. We’re the ones with the big wigs, fancy gowns and gavel, so what we say goes! Dixi.]

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019