100 WORD SKITTLE // The Trouble with Beardies

Any time I want to cry, I go to the kitchen and start cutting onions. Is it cowardly? Yes, maybe, but I cannot afford to let my guard down. The bearded dragons will take advantage of me if I do!

They’re tough little buggers. They cry only when they need to clean their eyes. So practical! Am I practical? Hell, no. I eat their dust in that department!

If I do cry in front of them, they glom on with their tiny straws and start sucking me dry from my tear ducts. I nearly died the last time that happened!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Cut Off

I used to be yakuza but not anymore. I was kicked out because of a tattoo.

I wanted to compose a tribute for the Oyabun, a haiku to celebrate his heroic exploits and boundless charisma. Endowed with this as a tattoo, I would be showing him the gravity of my devotion, my unquestioning firmness to serve him unto death.

Unfortunately, my handwriting sucks so the tattooist misread the haiku. Instead of the kanji for ‘handsome’ he tattooed the kanji for ‘unpleasant’. You can see how the fault is mine.

Or maybe the Oyabun didn’t like me showing him my balls?

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

100 WORD SKITTLE // Bookmark Me

Folks think it’s weird when a bookmark costs more than the book itself, but how can I deny myself this little whim? The more expensive the demarcation, the better I like it. Anyway, words are cheap.

It’s the only reason I carry a book in my bag. Whenever I open it and look at my hidden treasure, my heart sings. But not in words. No. It’s an inner reverberation that conveys more meaning than the text I’ve already forgotten.

An added benefit is the gazillion groupies that clamour for my attention. Girls tend to crush on bookish boys, you know!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Pneuma

The North Wind whispered to the Great Southern Plain, “Let’s breathe until we are no more.”

“Sure, sweetie.” The Great Southern Plain opened wide and breathed the North Wind in… deep and slow.

With the roar of many voices the Falls of the East disgorged over the omphalos of the Great Southern Plain. And the Western Chines straightened its stone shoulders, bristling, thrusting its spiky, serrated nipples at them.

“It’s okay, sugar,” sighed the Great Southern Plain invitingly. You can breathe with us.”

So they hugged together and they breathed together until they were no more.

And then Morning came.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

100 WORD SKITTLE // The Power of Oomph!

I looked at my horoscope today, and decided to test it. To see if it actually works.

I’m a Scorpio. Apparently, I’m some kind of magnetic personality that makes others go weak at the knees. So, when a nearby toddler fell over and howled like a banshee, I nodded sagely and made a mark in my notebook.

However, when a sweet natured grandad asked me the time before collapsing on his bus seat—chest in hands—I quickly got off at the next stop. I guess I should have told the driver but I needed to process this newfound power.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020