100 WORD SKITTLE // Dungeons & Dudgeons

Maybe if I put the box on that switch over there, it will unlock this treasure chest over here?

Or is it better to draw a red line on the floor? Perhaps around the chest itself?

Do I need to play the right musical notes on my ocarina? Will that open it?

Our lucky ancestors! They just hid keys inside corsets and pantaloons, and didn’t concern themselves with strong passwords, magic runes or occult biometrics. Why must I sift through each and every freaking dungeon with a fine tooth and comb just to claim the Furadore’s mystical hairpin?

Completely unfair!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

PERFECTION IN ACTION // In the Eye of the Beholder

I peered at a blot on the wall. It peered back at me, not blinking.

I didn’t realise that blots had eyes, but then this was no ordinary blot. As such, I wanted to get to know it better. Hell, I wanted to ask it out on a date but I guess it would’ve been considered a little odd for a gal to be attracted to a random abstract mark on a vertical structure—no matter how good looking the mark was!

A vagrant who was stepping away from the wall—zipping his dirty jeans—looked at me with surprise.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

100 WORD SKITTLE // The Trouble with Beardies

Any time I want to cry, I go to the kitchen and start cutting onions. Is it cowardly? Yes, maybe, but I cannot afford to let my guard down. The bearded dragons will take advantage of me if I do!

They’re tough little buggers. They cry only when they need to clean their eyes. So practical! Am I practical? Hell, no. I eat their dust in that department!

If I do cry in front of them, they glom on with their tiny straws and start sucking me dry from my tear ducts. I nearly died the last time that happened!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Cut Off

I used to be yakuza but not anymore. I was kicked out because of a tattoo.

I wanted to compose a tribute for the Oyabun, a haiku to celebrate his heroic exploits and boundless charisma. Endowed with this as a tattoo, I would be showing him the gravity of my devotion, my unquestioning firmness to serve him unto death.

Unfortunately, my handwriting sucks so the tattooist misread the haiku. Instead of the kanji for ‘handsome’ he tattooed the kanji for ‘unpleasant’. You can see how the fault is mine.

Or maybe the Oyabun didn’t like me showing him my balls?

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

100 WORD SKITTLE // Bookmark Me

Folks think it’s weird when a bookmark costs more than the book itself, but how can I deny myself this little whim? The more expensive the demarcation, the better I like it. Anyway, words are cheap.

It’s the only reason I carry a book in my bag. Whenever I open it and look at my hidden treasure, my heart sings. But not in words. No. It’s an inner reverberation that conveys more meaning than the text I’ve already forgotten.

An added benefit is the gazillion groupies that clamour for my attention. Girls tend to crush on bookish boys, you know!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020