PERFECTION IN ACTION // Lay an Egg

Whenever I meet somebody for the first time, I don’t ask them where they work, what hobbies they have, and other bullshit. My first question is always, “How do you feel about platypuses?”

If they look at me as though I’ve suddenly grown a second head, I turn around and walk away. If they say that they love platypuses, I slap them across the face then turn around and walk away. If they say that they hate platypuses, I spit under their feet then turn around and walk away.

It’s hard to make new friends in this modern, soulless society.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

Oops!… We Did It Again (ab ovo)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016-2018

Oops!… We Did It Again (Duck Kettle Plat)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016-2018