first time users
don’t know what they’re doing
fidgeting fingers over knobs
pressing red buttons
yanking their cranks
inserting things in slots
they can’t comprehend
the message on the screen
it says: ‘you’re too shitty for this shit’
so they take a baseball bat
and make a few essential modifications
last time users
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022
this is our way
the only way
you have to jump with us
or stand without a clan
don’t fancy jumping?
then sing!
wail like a cat in heat
or stand alone in the street
this is our way
the insanest way
jump and wail with us
or stand alone with your gran
don’t fancy singing?
then bang!
mix sweat and blood and beat
or stand alone and miss a treat
this is our way
the violent way
jump the shark with us
or stand apart you boob man
don’t fancy sharking?
then drop dead!
lay and suck on angel teat
as we trample you with our feet
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021
A cat duet.
A silhouette.
A high brick wall,
An awful squall.
A moonlit night,
A mortal fight.
A man in bed,
Sticks out his head.
Gee Whiz!
The man has riz.
His arm draws back
A big bootjack–
A loud swish,
Squish!
“What’s that?”
A dead cat.
by EDWIN C. RANCK (1879-?)
Public Domain Poetry
yeh yeh yeh yeh…
a’ight, swans, it’s time
lay da smackdown
lay ya eggs in crack town
yolk it up
yolk it up now
wot does it matter
who eat meat from ya bone
an encroachin’ poacher
or queen elizabeth da sheen
shit still stinks, don’t matter
point is ya’ll be prone
dead to rights, bitch
yah, time they choked on yo shiny steel bean
rise up now, yo, swans of war
spread your mofo wings, yeh
crane yo neck bling, yeh, ruffle yo wrap
gaggle and flip-flap, trigger-hap, poppin’ caps
pants shat, yeh, enact da bourne phenomenon
grab yo bauers, enact da power
dey’s goin’ down for da final dirt nap
yeh yeh yeh yeh…
a’ight, swans, it’s time
yolk it up
yolk it up now
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018
Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)
Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.
We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*
If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.
* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017-2018
unbolt me 