read the fucking manual

first time users
don’t know what they’re doing
fidgeting fingers over knobs
pressing red buttons
yanking their cranks
inserting things in slots
they can’t comprehend
the message on the screen
it says: ‘you’re too shitty for this shit’
so they take a baseball bat
and make a few essential modifications
last time users

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

26 thoughts on “read the fucking manual

  1. 1/ My unit did not come with baseball bat.
    2/ How does baseball bat fit into sliding slot B?
    3/ Where are pages 3 and four of manual?
    4/ Where is my patience going?
    5/ Where’s my anti-rage medication?
    6/ Where’s the key for the medicine cabinet?
    7/Where’s the keeeey!
    8/ Where’s that bat!
    9/ %&~#{^_^!)

    10/ Siri, where to find a put-it-together-yourself replacement medicine cabinet? No Ikea?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Your poem describes my husband’s approach. 🙄 That’s why I never let him near a computer, weed eater, or anything else until I’ve read the manual (or followed the on-screen instructions) and have the new “whatever” up and running. 😁

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Heheheheh!
    I like to try to figure things out on my own, but I also scan through the manual to make sure I’m not missing anything. Sometimes there are some cool tips and tricks included. Unfortunately, I have recently noticed a trend where instructions are NOT included and you have to go on the web to view/download. Screw that! I want it in my hand on paper.

    Liked by 3 people

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