Open-Source Poetry Four #3

Our Dearest Readers,

We have an important question for you. It’s so important that we must lean close and ask it in hushed tones. You’d best lean in too, lest you miss it! Ready?

BOO!

Okay, are you scared now? Yes? Now you know how we felt. We were so scared when we saw how many amazing submissions there were for the previous instalment of Open-Source Poetry! How on earth were we going to pick just one to add to this new lyrical masterpiece? It wasn’t going to be easy.

So, after a great many incantations over blood-soaked prayer beads ripped from the entrails of a satanically depressed gerbil, we eventually settled on Munira Ezzi’s sparkling contribution. Well… we’re kidding, of course. How could we rely on silly bloody incantations? Only a coin toss would do. (Although we do find it rather strange that the results matched.) Anyway, her lines felt like such a logical progression from what had gone before, so we ended up agreeing with the aforementioned incantations and coin toss outcome. How could we not use her contribution?

Now, if you would like us to agonise over your contributions for the next part of this poem in a similar fashion, we suggest you pay attention to the following rules:

1) Read the current version of this communal poetic effort below, and marvel at how scarily good it is (or is that goodily scary?). Then submit your own line or two for our consideration.
2) If we like your line (or two) the best, we’ll add it to the poem, then we’ll publish said result in a follow-up post.
3) Then you keep submitting frightening wordage aplenty in an attempt to chill us to the bone some more!
4) And so the whole process of submission and rejection is repeated until we finally have a horrifying new masterpiece!

PS: For those who may still be recovering from their New Years hangover, we remind them of the topic to the poem… It’s in the style of a good ol’ horror movie!

Вензель

hm, what should I draw?
maybe a hairy monster with a furry claw
or a demon crow that sticks in the craw
or a huge bloodstained saw

hm, what should I write?
maybe a slow growl will stir up a fright
or a girl will be twirled by a meat-eating kite
or grandma pole-dances in a bikini too tight

Вензель_нижний

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA, TONY SINGLE, TOMAS MANKUS & MUNIRA EZZI
© All rights reserved 2020

#ThankYouPatrons

Hey, guys!

We’re usually loathe to pester you with dull promotional patter regarding our Patreon page. But. (Yup, there’s always a ‘but’.) You see, we found out some days ago that there was an international day of gratitude for patrons. Of course, it would be remiss of us to stay quiet about this. We’re grateful for the trust and support of our own special band of patrons. They inspire us to forge ahead with all the silly creative things we want to do! So, yes, a round of applause, if you please. Let’s hear it for them!

PS: And now for a very secret message to our dear patrons. We’re in the throes of resurrecting an old comic strip of Tony’s called ‘Trottersville’, and we’re going over it with a fine-tooth comb. We’re redrawing and repurposing gags so that it’ll be much much better than it ever was.

Also, this strip won’t appear in any open online sources, only on special webcomic platforms. But you, our dear patrons will be able to reach each and every installment in our secret stash of Patreon posts. Exciting, eh?

Oh, and we’re going to be launching some other new and very cool things soon, but let’s keep a bit of intrigue around this for now. Everything at the right time! (Winky wink, nudgitty mcnudge!)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

Open-Source Poetry Four #2

All Hallows’ Eve has come and gone for another year, leaving behind it a trail of pumpkin seeds and M&Ms. Dear Reader, did you wear a costume this year? We did! Tati was a tentacled Cthulhu kitty, and Tony preferred to… well, cosplay as a plate of pumpkin mash. As usual.

But, alas, good things never last. All the skeletons have been shoved back into their closets, and all the ghosts have been brought to bay with proton energy streams. Now it’s time to work! That’s right, we’re serving up another slice of communal poetry for you to chew over and add lines to. Are you up to the challenge? If your answer is a demonic, guttural yes, then read on:

1) You see that bit of poetry down there? That’s what we’d like your help with. All you need do is submit your own line for our consideration.
2) If we like your line the best, we’ll add it to the poem, then we’ll publish said poem in a follow-up post.
3) What happens then? Well, you get angry if you’re among the unfortunate many whose line wasn’t chosen, and you vow to submit another one that will most certainly blow us away with its awesome astoundingness!
4) And so the whole process of submission and rejection is repeated until we finally have a horrifying new masterpiece!

So, yeah, that’s it! Now it’s your turn to sweat over that next perfect line. Meanwhile, Tati, Tony and Tomas Mankus will chill out with a well earned bag of trick-or-treating sweets… oh, and a cup of tea. Mmm… sacrilegious!

Вензель

hm, what should I draw?
maybe a hairy monster with a furry claw
or a demon crow that sticks in the craw
or a huge bloodstained saw

Вензель_нижний

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA, TONY SINGLE & TOMAS MANKUS
© All rights reserved 2019

SPAM® Sushi #10

Mayhem! So *this* is what the bridge of the Enterprise should look like when Khan lobs a couple of photon torpedoes at them.
— pnrrrqba

Mayhem! So *this* is what our brains look like when we try to make the connection between your comment and our post. Is there one? Obviously, we’ll need to embark on a five year mission to rewatch the entire Star Trek franchise so as to obtain a deeper understanding of photon torpedoes, transparent aluminium and other celestial shit. Actually, see ya in 2264, because it’s going to take a hell of a lot longer than that to finish all episodes and be ready with an answer! Jesus.
— Tati & Tony (Ensigns of the Redshirts are Dead Meat Brigade)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

Open-Source Poetry Four #1

Our Dearest Readers and Budding Poets (and Masters of Poetry, of course!),

We’d be lying if we said that Open Source Poetry is one of our least favouritest features here on Unbolt Me. Why? Well, it’s easy. We love the element of surprise that it brings. What scintillatingly fabulous line will you come up with next? What will you write to make us gasp in envy and wonderment as we struggle to match creative minds?

In short, communal poetry writing is a whole lotta fun!

Now, usually we’re the ones to start a new round of Open Source Poetry. We suggest the first line and then allow y’all to run with it, but we figured it would be more fun if this time we allowed you to suggest the first line of the new poem instead! Cool idea, huh? And, actually, while we don’t wish to restrict you in your creative efforts, because it’s Halloween soon, we propose that the theme should be ‘horror film’!

Here are the rules of this devilish game:

1) You submit the first line of our new poem via the comments section of this very post.
2) We pick the line we like most, and write the next one.
3) We publish the first and second lines in a follow-up post.
4) You submit the next line, we pick the one we like, and then we add it to the poem.
5) Step 4 is repeated until we have a masterpiece!

And with that, we sit back, put on our 3D glasses, grab a monster-sized tub of All Hallows’ Poppycorn™, and ready ourselves to shake and scream in horrified rhymed delight!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINATONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019