GUEST POST // The girl who vomited diamonds by Nath B-Side

Nobody saw how special she was
Nobody valued her qualities
Nobody realised her strengths,
Nobody comprehend her speech.

Some people think she was too old to be young.
Some people was sure of that.

Some people wanted to take off her peace.
But peace was her second name.
It was her. Herself.

She wasn’t more special than anybody. She was just different.
Life made her this way
and
she didn’t know how to be like the others.

While she was walking, thinking, reading …
people …. People was living.
Leaving her alone because they couldn’t understand her.

She was not the best company to celebrate because she wasn’t the happier.
She was a desired company in bed but she prefered to be bad.

While people was having a hangover… She was sleeping and
dreaming
dreaming she was vomiting diamonds.

 

by Nath B-Side
© All rights reserved 2020

SPAM® Sushi #14

Talking about chestnut cramp is obstinate, whether with forebears, friends, co-workers, or physicians.
LukjanAmece

We agree. No one cares about chestnut cramps, birch dyspepsia and spruce anarthria. More compassion is needed in such a cruel, heartless world!
— Tati & Tony (Two Newbie Arborists with PhDs in Advanced Banter)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

GUEST POST // A Birthday Poem by B K Rollason

There comes a time
for taking stock
of what one’s had
and what one’s got,

of where one’s going
and where one’s been,
of what one’s heard
and what one’s seen.

You know the games,
you’ve learnt the rules,
you can tell the wisemen
from the fools,

you’ve learned that all’s
not as it seems,
that life is both
reality and dreams,

and like the tides
that ebb and flow,
life’s sometimes fast
and oft’ times slow.

To survive the storm
a tree must bend,
and a new day starts
where this one ends.

 

by B K Rollason
© All rights reserved 1982

SPAM® Sushi #13

 

Remarkably, when Ellen awoke the next morning, she was sensation somewhat happier, but her mammy insisted they safeguard their appointment. Ingest crucifer and kale, likewise as condiment green and vegetable.

EinarMult

 

Dear Einar,

We know this story pretty well. It was in all the evening papers just a few short years ago. It’s such a sad story too, although some would label it a ‘cautionary tale’ featuring cannibals.

As we all now know, Ellen was a very sick little girl. Like… sick in the head. She was undergoing aggressive medical therapy. It has been well established by experts in the field that she was a sociopath who was against the slaughter and consumption of fruits and vegetables. The mere thought of these doomed innocents would plunge Ellen into depression for weeks on end. Imagine the poor girl’s feelings when her mammy repeatedly forced her to, as you so quaintly put it, “Ingest crucifer and kale, likewise as condiment green and vegetable.” It would have been a nightmare!

So, is it any wonder that she finally cracked, and bludgeoned her sweet mammy to death with the business end of a colander? Yup, she even made her dead mammy wear it as a hat, and sat her in ‘time out’ to have a long, hard think about what she’d been doing to helpless plant life for all those years. And when it seemed as though her mammy hadn’t learned her lesson at all, Ellen simply et her.

And when Ellen awoke the next morning, she was sensation completely happy, despite waking up in a madhouse. A cautionary tale indeed!

Tati & Tony (Two Nuts Who are Desperate to Find Inspiration for Yet Another Brilliantly Silly Story Even in Spam)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

SPAM® Sushi #12

Cancer in the anal canal (transitional zone) after restorative proctocolectomy with stapled ileal pouch-anal anastomosis.
TrompokAnnenrege

If you think that kind of sexy chitchat is going to get you into our pants then you’ve got another think coming!
— Tati & Tony (General Nitpickers and Anal Attorneys of Moral Outrage Due to Blatant Sexual Harassment)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020