SPAM® Sushi #10

Mayhem! So *this* is what the bridge of the Enterprise should look like when Khan lobs a couple of photon torpedoes at them.
— pnrrrqba

Mayhem! So *this* is what our brains look like when we try to make the connection between your comment and our post. Is there one? Obviously, we’ll need to embark on a five year mission to rewatch the entire Star Trek franchise so as to obtain a deeper understanding of photon torpedoes, transparent aluminium and other celestial shit. Actually, see ya in 2264, because it’s going to take a hell of a lot longer than that to finish all episodes and be ready with an answer! Jesus.
— Tati & Tony (Ensigns of the Redshirts are Dead Meat Brigade)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

SPAM® Sushi #9

I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? This paragraph posted at this web page is actually pleasant.
— free hot live video chat

We feel quite honoured that an employee of the porno industry would choose to spend their hard earned lunch breaks with us! Having rumpy pumpy with complete strangers must surely be sweaty and tiring work, so we’re glad our poetry can be a soothing balm for all those throbby raw bits of yours that are screaming for rest.
Here, have yourself a nice cup of tea too!
Oh, by the way… There is kinda one tiny weeny thing we’d like to ask. (We hope it won’t offend.) Next time you visit, may we ask you to please put some clothes on? Or, failing that, turn your cam off?
— Tati & Tony (Two Shy Poetic Exhibitionists)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

SPAM® Sushi #8

Hi there, I just wanted to say, you’re wrong. Your post doesn’t make any sense.
— zqmjbogx

Which one, dude? We have 657 posts now. And, actually, only a handful of them make a lick of sense—yeah, the ones where we awkwardly promote our books or pathetically cajole money out of our readers’ pockets. Otherwise, they’re all complete bullshit. So, you’ll have to be more specific if you’re going to insult us, bro.
— Tati & Tony (Two Idiots Who Are Going to be Rich and Famous Only After They Drop Dead)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

SPAM® Sushi #7

Children’s length of existence is often an worthy discouragement, especially because most children’s wheelchairs are expected to pattern 3 years.
— FrithjofDuen

It’s an outrage! Obviously, the children manufacturers and wheelchair manufacturers need to sit at the negotiating table and hash this one out. All technical documents and specifications from both parties need to be harmonised across the board, and made to comply with industry standards. In short, the life cycles of both product lines need to be a controlled value. No to individual initiative! Yes to planned economy!
— Tati (Hon. D.B. in Business Coaching & Economics Wranglement) & Tony (Ph.D. in Uncontrolled Nutation & Pointless Armchair Critiquery)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

SPAM® Sushi #6

I announce your letter for letter all over and over, but its euphonious medicament cannot eject my breast.
— RunakMl

 

This is the first consumer complaint we’ve ever gotten, so you can colour us surprised! Neither Wonder Woman nor Lady Gaga have reported issues with ejecting their breasts while using our particular brand of ‘euphonious medicament’ (to use your words). Of course, if you’re completely unhappy with the results, we’d be happy to refund your money. Naturally, we’d first need to ensure that you’ve followed the enclosed instruction leaflet to the letter. For maximum breastal ejectage, the rigorous steps and safety standards outlined therein must be strictly adhered to. Even with our patented and FDA approved aural ointment, expelling mammary glands from one’s own person is still not an exact science. Thank you for alerting us to the issue you’ve had with ejecting your breast. We’re sorry that you’ve been unable as of yet to attain the flat-chested results you desire. Perhaps if you rubbed some more on? You can always contact us again if the problem persists.
— Tati & Tony (Qualified Pharmaceutical Noise Wizards of Breastacular Evacuations)

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019