SPAM® Sushi #20

Thank you for sharing the info. I love sucking dick btw hmu
— Leola Uziel

Dear Leola (and the 2,951 other spammers who’ve left similar comments on our blog), thank you for sharing the info. We love sucking each others’ elbows btw. DON’T JUDGE US!
— Tati & Tony (The Salty Elbowed Recipients of Fan DMs Outlining Vanilla Sexual Proclivities)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

SPAM® Sushi #19

Don’t disregard to factor in the costs and benefits to your loved ones close-mouthed friends and classification as amply as deal with associates who are feigned by way of your baleful behaviour.
— SaturasIntagorgo

Dear SaturasIntagorgo,
There are certainly benefits to using our loved ones and close-mouthed friends to cover up our baleful deeds, and we never miss an opportunity. We always wear gloves with their fingerprints on them, and carry samples of their DNA (they’ll think twice about spitting in our faces next time!).
Right now we’re going to sneak into the kitchen and commit another crime of the century—pick the chocolate chips out of all the cookies—and none of the proof we leave behind will point to us. (Of course, we could do this after our loved ones and close-mouthed friends unlock the closet where they’ve detained us because they’ve decided to overlook our baleful behaviour.)
— Tati & Tony (Two Astonished Miscreants Who Cannot Believe That a Close-mouthed Person Can Even Spit)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

SPAM® Sushi #18

Caucasians at birth all the time have a grayish-blue iris as the pigmented layer solely develops progressively during the first year of life. Common examples embody spicy meals, legumes (peas, beans), and brassica vegetables (cabbages, cauliflower, broccoli).
— Innostianjam

So, are you saying that when I’m sitting down at Nando’s that I can expect to have my Super Spicy Chanakhi Surprise looking back up at me with betrayed, innocent, blue eyes as I’m trying to cut into it with a knife and fork? Now there’s a horrifying thought!
— Tati & Tony (Survival Horror Experts of Culinary Renown & Goggle-eyed Ethnogenesis)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

SPAM® Sushi #17

Certain components of those plants are eaten uncooked, and the teeth and lips are often used to peel the pods and bulbs. In my opinion, my format expertise have improved quite a bit since I was last engaged on Marvel initiatives.
— ThorusOscindy

So, what is the name of this latest Marvel initiative? Might Morphin’ Cabbage Patooties? And shall we guess the scenario you’re describing here? Oh! An army of toothy, fat lipped mutants have devoured all vegetable life on Earth, spifflicating buds and bulbs with extreme cruelty! And so the resulting massive fart attack has ruined the ozone layer, hence why you’re equipping your Mjölnirarses to fart back at them. Does that sound pretty close?
— Tati & Tony (Superpowered Mentors of Overpowered Flatulence Universe)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

SPAM® Sushi #16

This relationship is a therapeutic one, quite than a 236 purely musical one, though the end product might be heard as artform. The compression occasion should grab half of the run and should be unruffled, not jerky.
— Gunockkeync

When Tony needs some therapy, he slams on some heavy metal and fills his gob with jerky. When Tati needs some therapy, she squeezes Tony’s jerky until he squeals. His squeal is quite musical, and can be thought of as a bold new artform. And then they sneeze 236 times.
— Tati & Tony (Two Unruffled Partakers of Absolute Poppycock)