TONY: So, we’re gonna talk about art again. Would you like to pick the piece this time?
TATI: Again? Why don’t we talk about cryptocurrency mining for once?
TONY: Crypto—what?!
TATI: Oh, dear me… Tony, it’s 2021 outside! The sixties are long gone. Wake up!
TONY: Already?! Damn. Time sure flies when you’re an anachronism.
TATI: Yes, your shoes and hairstyle are proof of this.
TONY: Ahem… ANYWAY! What are you going to choose?
TATI: Okey-dokey, but you should brew me some coffee if you don’t want me to fall asleep during our discussion. And where should I look? In your Instagram?
TONY: Sure! Why the hell not?
TATI: Hmmm. There are pictures here that I like, and there are others that I don’t. But I can’t question they’re art because you’ve clearly put time and effort into them. Your creativity is quite evident.
TONY: Aw, shucks!
TATI: In short, there are no bananas taped to walls.
TONY: Well, I’m not much of a fan of bananas taped to walls anyway. Actually, I’m curious as to which of my drawings you don’t like. Care to enlighten me?
TATI: Are you sure? Promise not to cry like last time?
TONY: Hey, it’s not my problem if a man expressing his emotions makes you uncomfortable.
TATI: Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Well… I think this is one I like the least out of everything you’ve posted.
TONY: Interesting! Truthfully, it isn’t one of my favourites either. May I ask why this is so for you?
TATI: Maybe because I can’t see the ‘story’ behind her. She looks dull. I don’t know who she is but nor do I care. She doesn’t make me curious to learn more about her.
TONY: So, you like drawings that give you the feeling of an underlying narrative?
TATI: It’s great but not necessary. I am also fine with simple, cute things. Even if they don’t tell a story. Even if they don’t arouse your imagination. It can still be pleasant to view them.
TONY: So… this drawing doesn’t do even that for you. Is that what you’re saying?
TATI: Yep.
TONY: Erm… okay.
TATI: Tell me her story, Tony. Make me love her.
TONY: I don’t know… Hmmm… She got her face stuck in a dot matrix printer and so that’s why she looks like this? It’s quite a tragic to-do.
TATI: Hee hee hee! Why has she done this?
TONY: Well, she didn’t do it on purpose. It was an accident. Perhaps she was trying to fix it instead of asking her butch lesbian lover to do it.
TATI: Why are they using a dot matrix printer in the twenty-first century anyway? Are they printing invitations for a sixties style LGBT party? Pray, do continue!
TONY: Why not? Even chic gals and their butch lesbian partners deserve to get down and boogie once in a while.
TATI: Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you were so smart that you knew dot matrix printers were invented in the sixties, and therefore you made that connection! I bet you just found a fancy filter in Photoshop and decided to use it!
TONY: Of course I didn’t make the connection! And of course it was just a filter I used! And anyway, I thought we were both doing some sneaky ‘backwards engineering’ here!
TATI: You old pervert! Don’t you ever dream about ‘backwards engineering’ with me!
TONY: Hey, your mind went there. Not mine!
TATI: About engineering… What if she was standing near a hydraulic press right after she smashed her husband’s head in?
TONY: What the fuck?! How does this even suggest that horrific scenario to you?!
TATI: Don’t you like the scenario?
TONY: It’s just that… well… I just hadn’t realised you were so bloodthirsty!
TATI: Oh, come on! Don’t be such a boob, Tony! Stephen King, by the way, included this film in his list of most notable horror movies from 1950 to 1980!
TONY: Smashed in heads. Boobs. Horror movies. What kind of conversation have I walked into here?
TATI: You started it all!
TONY: Oh, that’s just rich! Fine. I’ll never draw again.
TATI: But you know what, Tony? Funnily enough, you have finally done it!
TONY: What do you mean by ‘you have finally done it’?
TATI: You have made me love her! I like this drawing now! Oh, what if we have a sixties style evening? Some good old horror classics and piles of popcorn all around? Your shoes would be welcome!
(Tati rushes out of the room to make preparations.)
TONY: Cryptocurrency mining with the current price of electricity… are you kidding, Tati? To make such an evening profitable you would have needed to have it back in the sixties! But crypto art? Now that is quite a different story…
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021
unbolt me 