Tag Archives: 100 word stories

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Heavy Metal Mauna

I opened my mouth and screamed at the top of my lungs. The wind snatched up my scream, carrying it far, far away to a land where all people are mute.

As a result, I too became mute, and was so for many years. The scream had left me completely spent, so I retired to bed and existed there in a state of perfect, perpetual sleep.

Meanwhile, those people in that faraway land had all caught the scream. They took it, they shared it, and they all began to talk to one another again.

And they’d never felt more awake.

Heavy Metal Mauna

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

100 WORD SKITTLE // Prehensile Option

I’d sooner evaporate like boiling water from a jug, but here I am, wearing a tie and knocking on an office door instead. My boss is behind that door and my stomach’s twisting with the knowledge that there’s no escape.

“Come in!”

Still, it seems that an executioner inviting you to the chopping block sounds friendlier than the officious store clerk who barks “Hey!” when you leave without letting them inspect your bag.

I take a deep breath and enter. My boss is at his desk. It’s not polite to put feet on a table, but what about a tail?

Prehensile Option

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Snuffling Around the Clock

“Ahchoo!”

I was running late. I should’ve left fifteen minutes ago but a sneezing fit put the kibosh on that.

I sneezed from the front door back to the bathroom cabinet where I hoped the antihistamines were. I saw myself as I opened the mirrored door, all streaming nose and puffy eyes.

“Ahchoo!”

I looked at my watch. I should’ve left five minutes ago. Stop… five? I rubbed my eyes. No, the time was right. So, what would I need to do to get back to not being late? Get another sneezing fit? Cough? Fart?

Time travel, eh? Who knew?

Mormon Jr. 1a

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

100 WORD SKITTLE // Up There, Cazaly

Echidna had been watching Platypus for some time. It was now or never. She made a spurt, grip, jerk and… plop! An egg bomb right from her very bum hole to lob at the duck-billed bastard!

Thing is, she hadn’t accounted for her incredibly poor aim. Instead of splatting Platypus’s gormless face with it, the egg ended up all over Dingo’s snout instead. And, like the uncultured yob he was, Dingo licked off the runny, jagged mess and hoiked it all into Kangaroo’s pouch.

And then the final whistle shrilled. The fans howled with disappointment. It was a zero draw.

Confused Echidna

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Don’t Give a Shit

Today I dreamt that I’d crapped my pants off. Yes, pants full of warm, steamy poo down around my ankles. The kind of poo that comes out of you like toothpaste from a tube.

Being an optimist, I googled what good things this could mean. Scrolling through dozens of sites revealed meanings from ‘Problems with money should be anticipated’ to ‘Your financial status will significantly improve in the near future’.

Naturally, none of these happened. I’m a performing circus chimp with clown pants. I don’t need money, just a nice big banana to provide that extra roughage my diet needs.

Don't Give a Shit

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023