100 WORD SKITTLE // Piss Off (Baptism of Fire)

Snot was streaked down his mouth, chin and collarino like ejaculated soul.

He wiped himself off—his nose too—with a paper towel, then balled it up and threw it into the fireplace. The fire leapt up with a flash of green and devoured the offering. The licking of its lips turned quickly into an ominous smile.

“I saw what you did.”

He cocked an eyebrow at the fire.

“So you’re going to blackmail me, are you? Silly chemical process! You won’t tell anybody.”

He stepped over to the fireplace and lifted up his cassock. Then he unzipped his jeans.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

PERFECTION IN ACTION // The Last Bedtime Story

Her hair was like straw, a far cry from how it used to be. She no longer adorned it with dandelions. Nor did she wear clovers or ladybugs to make it grin with a certain visual poetry. No, a brush of dry, prickly, lifeless bristles was all that greeted his touch.

“Don’t worry, honey,” she whispered, cutting a faded tress. “We’ll bring our Summer back.”

And so they painted on the lush green grass with the remnants of her youth. Dewy dandelions and sleepy ladybugs. Clovers and sweet peas. Then the hedgehogs joined them in the sunlight, and they danced.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

100 WORD SKITTLE // Lay a Chocolate Egg

Rabbit jumped onto the road and froze in the headlights.

Well, this isn’t strictly true.

He did jump out but then opened up his cute plaid vest. The inside pockets were packed with chocolate eggs—you know, like they were bombs. Rabbit spat on the bitumen and hopped over to the car, all slow and menacing.

“Your carrots or your life!”

Driver doubled over the steering wheel in fits of wheezing laughter. What was this carjacker nonsense?! And Rabbit’s squeaking voice—how could she take that seriously? Driver laughed hard.

Rabbit sighed. He was sick of eating fucking Easter eggs!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

100 WORD SKITTLE // Dungeons & Dudgeons

Maybe if I put the box on that switch over there, it will unlock this treasure chest over here?

Or is it better to draw a red line on the floor? Perhaps around the chest itself?

Do I need to play the right musical notes on my ocarina? Will that open it?

Our lucky ancestors! They just hid keys inside corsets and pantaloons, and didn’t concern themselves with strong passwords, magic runes or occult biometrics. Why must I sift through each and every freaking dungeon with a fine tooth and comb just to claim the Furadore’s mystical hairpin?

Completely unfair!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

PERFECTION IN ACTION // In the Eye of the Beholder

I peered at a blot on the wall. It peered back at me, not blinking.

I didn’t realise that blots had eyes, but then this was no ordinary blot. As such, I wanted to get to know it better. Hell, I wanted to ask it out on a date but I guess it would’ve been considered a little odd for a gal to be attracted to a random abstract mark on a vertical structure—no matter how good looking the mark was!

A vagrant who was stepping away from the wall—zipping his dirty jeans—looked at me with surprise.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021