What We Do in the Shadows

It’s a bit weird when you think about it. We’ll go absolutely wild when we’re writing different stuff, but then feel pretty numb when it comes to self-promotion. So we decided we’d be better off showing you what we’re working on at the moment—not tell.

Script Excerpt 1

Yup, that’s right! We’re working on an actual graphic novel! Exciting, wouldn’t you agree? Scripting is seventy-five percent done and we’re experimenting with different art and colouring styles, so it’s full steam ahead!

Cast 1

Of course, we will complete this epic project whether we get financial support or not, but should you decide to treat us to a cup of Ko-fi or even become our Patron then just know that we are eternally grateful to you!

Beware, Art and Neil! Tati and Tony have entered the ring!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

Tumblevision #5

Proof of Concept 1fProof of Concept 1eProof of Concept 1dProof of Concept 1cProof of Concept 1bProof of Concept 1aTati and I are ages away from the drawing stage of our graphic novel, but I needed to test the feasibility of my chosen art style for such a massive project. Fingers crossed that it all goes well.

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

BUT IS IT ART? // Dot Girl

TONY: So, we’re gonna talk about art again. Would you like to pick the piece this time?

TATI: Again? Why don’t we talk about cryptocurrency mining for once?

TONY: Crypto—what?!

TATI: Oh, dear me… Tony, it’s 2021 outside! The sixties are long gone. Wake up!

TONY: Already?! Damn. Time sure flies when you’re an anachronism.

TATI: Yes, your shoes and hairstyle are proof of this.

TONY: Ahem… ANYWAY! What are you going to choose?

TATI: Okey-dokey, but you should brew me some coffee if you don’t want me to fall asleep during our discussion. And where should I look? In your Instagram?

TONY: Sure! Why the hell not?

TATI: Hmmm. There are pictures here that I like, and there are others that I don’t. But I can’t question they’re art because you’ve clearly put time and effort into them. Your creativity is quite evident.

TONY: Aw, shucks!

TATI: In short, there are no bananas taped to walls.

TONY: Well, I’m not much of a fan of bananas taped to walls anyway. Actually, I’m curious as to which of my drawings you don’t like. Care to enlighten me?

TATI: Are you sure? Promise not to cry like last time?

TONY: Hey, it’s not my problem if a man expressing his emotions makes you uncomfortable.

TATI: Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Well… I think this is one I like the least out of everything you’ve posted.

TONY: Interesting! Truthfully, it isn’t one of my favourites either. May I ask why this is so for you?

TATI: Maybe because I can’t see the ‘story’ behind her. She looks dull. I don’t know who she is but nor do I care. She doesn’t make me curious to learn more about her.

TONY: So, you like drawings that give you the feeling of an underlying narrative?

TATI: It’s great but not necessary. I am also fine with simple, cute things. Even if they don’t tell a story. Even if they don’t arouse your imagination. It can still be pleasant to view them.

TONY: So… this drawing doesn’t do even that for you. Is that what you’re saying?

TATI: Yep.

TONY: Erm… okay.

TATI: Tell me her story, Tony. Make me love her.

TONY: I don’t know… Hmmm… She got her face stuck in a dot matrix printer and so that’s why she looks like this? It’s quite a tragic to-do.

TATI: Hee hee hee! Why has she done this?

TONY: Well, she didn’t do it on purpose. It was an accident. Perhaps she was trying to fix it instead of asking her butch lesbian lover to do it.

TATI: Why are they using a dot matrix printer in the twenty-first century anyway? Are they printing invitations for a sixties style LGBT party? Pray, do continue!

TONY: Why not? Even chic gals and their butch lesbian partners deserve to get down and boogie once in a while.

TATI: Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you were so smart that you knew dot matrix printers were invented in the sixties, and therefore you made that connection! I bet you just found a fancy filter in Photoshop and decided to use it!

TONY: Of course I didn’t make the connection! And of course it was just a filter I used! And anyway, I thought we were both doing some sneaky ‘backwards engineering’ here!

TATI: You old pervert! Don’t you ever dream about ‘backwards engineering’ with me!

TONY: Hey, your mind went there. Not mine!

TATI: About engineering… What if she was standing near a hydraulic press right after she smashed her husband’s head in?

TONY: What the fuck?! How does this even suggest that horrific scenario to you?!

TATI: Don’t you like the scenario?

TONY: It’s just that… well… I just hadn’t realised you were so bloodthirsty!

TATI: Oh, come on! Don’t be such a boob, Tony! Stephen King, by the way, included this film in his list of most notable horror movies from 1950 to 1980!

TONY: Smashed in heads. Boobs. Horror movies. What kind of conversation have I walked into here?

TATI: You started it all!

TONY: Oh, that’s just rich! Fine. I’ll never draw again.

TATI: But you know what, Tony? Funnily enough, you have finally done it!

TONY: What do you mean by ‘you have finally done it’?

TATI: You have made me love her! I like this drawing now! Oh, what if we have a sixties style evening? Some good old horror classics and piles of popcorn all around? Your shoes would be welcome!

(Tati rushes out of the room to make preparations.)

TONY: Cryptocurrency mining with the current price of electricity… are you kidding, Tati? To make such an evening profitable you would have needed to have it back in the sixties! But crypto art? Now that is quite a different story…

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

BUT IS IT ART? // The Comedian

TATI: Tony, I believe you can be considered a professional artist, yes?

TONY: I guess I can. I might not make much money from what I do but I certainly take it seriously.

TATI: How much money have you made with your art? Do you remember the biggest amount you ever received?

TONY: I do believe it was two Scribbean melamine dollars back in 1996, which was quite a payday for a young, starving artist working out of a cardboard hovel in an inner city red light district.

TATI: Scribbean melamine dollars? Red light district?

TONY: Oh, that’s industry talk for failure. Don’t worry about it…

TATI: No, I’m curious now. I need to hear the entire story.

TONY: There’s not much to tell. I was a starving artist in a cardboard hovel.

TATI: But I see you’re still alive and even have a pretty notable belly.

TONY: Yes, I’ve managed to live off of this belly for many a year now.

TATI: Well… anyway, I wanted to ask your professional opinion. (If we can be agreed that you’re a professional artist.)

TATI: Is it art?

TONY: Oh, I’ve heard of this…

TATI: You’ve heard of this. Awesome. It means you can hear, even though you’re deaf. But it looks like you haven’t heard my question.

TONY: Is it art? Yes, I heard your question, smarty-pants! As for the banana taped to a wall… well, do you think it’s art?

TATI: Tony, don’t turn this around. I asked you first!

TONY: Well, I guess it is art. Maybe. I don’t know. I mean, someone did end up paying $120,000 for it. Real dollars by the way, not melamine ones.

TATI: Why don’t you do this then?

TONY: Stick fruit to walls?

TATI: Yep. Why spend days and weeks toiling over drawings? Why sweat over your silly comics month after agonising month? Tape bananas to walls and enjoy platinum-plated baguettes and brie for years to come!

TONY: Well, I suppose it should have been obvious the day I tripped in a food hall and my McJolly’s Super Happy Meal ended up all over that rather bland ‘Exciting New Store Coming Soon’ sign. I really should have put two and two together and started throwing all kinds of shit against vertical surfaces. I mean, instant riches right there, am I right?

TATI: I hear sarcasm in your voice when you say, “All kinds of shit.” So, you admit it isn’t art, but rather shit? Or is it just jealousy speaking that someone else made money, even from shit?

TONY: Oh, definitely jealousy. My problem is that I’m not enough of a lateral thinker to come up with a genius idea like that!

TATI: Tony, you have an amazing ability to blab endlessly and say nothing useful. Can you just answer the question, please? Is this fucking art or fucking shit?

TONY: Alright then! It’s a fucking art that someone taped fruit to a wall and duped some dude out a shitload of cash! Satisfied?

TATI: The art of manipulation? The art of fraud? The art of proving the world is sick and can’t distinguish between what is real and what is fake?

TONY: Pretty much. Kinda like when guys choose fake boobies over real boobies. Same principle.

TATI: So, it can’t be considered a real piece of art? In a good, classic ‘art is a diverse range of human activities in creating visual, auditory or performance artifacts (artworks) that express the author’s imagination, conceptual ideas, or technical skill, intended to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power’ kind of way?

TONY: That was quite a mouthful.

TATI: If you don’t have a clear opinion, my hesitating friend, then let’s ask our dear readers. I hope they can find a clearer position on this than you.

TONY: Sure! Why the hell not?

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

BUT IS IT ART? // Goo Goo McArt

1265542358_ornament

TATI: Bachelor of Visual Arts.

TONY: I’m sorry?

TATI: You have a Bachelor of Visual Arts.

TONY: Yes.

TATI: Your art has even featured in a comics exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art in Rijeka, Croatia.

TONY: Erm… yes.

TATI: You’ve contributed to various comics anthologies.

TONY: Also yes.

TATI: All of this hard work and critical acclaim has led you to… this?

TONY: To what?

TATI: Shame on you!

TONY: Huh?!

TATI: This drawing of a goo goo muck with blood all over her tits!

TONY: Goo goo muck?!

TATI: A vampire woman!

TONY: Ohhh-kayyy…

TATI: Tony, this drawing is not art! It is complete shit!

TONY: I beg your pardon?!

TATI: You have thirty seconds to convince me otherwise. Tick tock!

TONY:

TATI: Well? I’m waiting!

Tony turns to the Unbolt Me readers. His voice drops to a whisper.

TONY: Help me out, guys…

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020