A Song of Ice and Fire

Tati walks into the lounge room in a swimsuit and flip-flops. A beach towel is thrown over one shoulder. Tony walks in from the opposite doorway. He’s in a fur hat and a heavy woollen coat. He’s carrying a pair of skis.

TONY: Aren’t you cold?

TATI: Aren’t you hot?

They look at each other with suspicion.

TONY: Do I look like I’m hot?

Button is sitting in the corner, giggling. He feels like he’s about to witness something fun.

TATI: I didn’t mean if you’re sexy, dolt! Why did you encumber yourself with all this crap?

Tony lets out a deep, sad sigh.

TONY: Winter is coming. And don’t say I know nothin’, okay? I’m not Jon Snow!

Tati furrows her brow.

TATI: Who is this?

TONY: He’s a fictio—oh, never mind. What are you doing baring so much skin in the middle of winter anyway?

TATI: You’re unbelievable, Tony! Where’s your logic? A moment ago you stated that winter is coming. Now you’re saying it’s the middle of winter! Can you please pick one and stay with it?

TONY: GAH! Sorry! I guess really do know nothin’…

Button now has a tub of popcorn and a can of cola. He’s adjusting his 3D glasses as he watches this scene unfold. Tati sighs, and decides to change her tactic. She pokes her finger at a nearby wall calendar. The date is June 1.

TATI: Take a hint, Tony. Please.

TONY: Oh! Okay. It’s the beginning of winter then.

Tati gawks at Tony with great surprise. She hadn’t expected that heatstroke could have such a deep effect on someone.

TATI: You should lie down, Tony. I will call a doctor to come and check your head.

Tati swipes the can of cola from Button’s feeble clutches, and pours the contents over Tony’s head.

BUTTON: What the fuck?

TONY: What the FUCK?!

TATI: Did it help? I can add popcorn!

Button hides the tub of popcorn behind his back.

TONY: NO! GODDAMMIT!

Tony runs around in circles, rubbing his hair vigorously with his hands. He’s trying desperately to get it dry.

TONY: So freaking COLD. I need a warm towel! My kingdom for a warm towel!

Tati takes the towel from her shoulder and flicks it toward him.

TONY: Oh my god. Is that… effervescence I’m feeling? What if the bubbles get absorbed into my brain?

TATI: Then I hope it will revitalise your dried brain a little bit. And that you finally realise it’s bloody SUMMER.

TONY: Summer? SUMMER?! It’s so bloody cold I could snap an ear off, use it as an ashtray, and it still wouldn’t thaw!

Tati turns to whisper to Button.

TATI: Call the mental health facility. Tony is having a fit.

TONY: It’s winter! WINTER! Do you see me shivering here? I’m blue, for freak’s sake! I’m as blue and shaky as Epileptic Smurf! Button, call the mental health facility! Tati’s a raving lunatic! She thinks it’s summer!

Button rolls his eyes and does the ‘cuckoo’ sign at both Tati and Tony. He then takes some popcorn and…

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by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

GUEST POST // all the trappings of winter by Robert Greig

I’ve tried
to write a poem
for the solstice
this winter come,
for the shortest day;

the beginning of the end…

I failed
to find a start
carve a middle
coup de grâce
weave a wordy way;

the beginning
of the end…

I set my traps
the night before
made all the best laid plans
I chose the bait
and lay in wait
and all seemed well in hand;

the beginning of
the end…

patience
that’s the key
so it seemed
but easy said
is rarely easy done;

the beginning
of
the end…

as light became
less light
my eyes
shuttered wide
to closed
and into sleep
I dribbled deep
from yawn to drowse
to doze;

the beginning of the end
came when I awoke
and found
nothing much to find
but pins and needles
muscle cramp
a spider hanging
from my hat
but not a rhythm
not a rhyme
nor any useful line,
nothing fine
that could be used
to light a fuse
or bold enthuse
to glean a verse
to break this curse,
not epic,
blank,
not villanelle,
not idyll,
even terse.

[sigh]

I’ve tried
to write a poem
but despite
my best attempts
I wrote
a shopping list instead:
coffee
tea
turnips
tomatoes
crackers
crisps
and cheese.

 

by ROBERT GREIG
© All rights reserved 2018

GUEST POST // Curious Intents In This Warmer Weather by Captain Q

Curious intents in this warmer weather
Knowing Summer will be coming soon
Inspiration & creativity go hand in hand
Shedding Winter demons beneath a fresh moon
I’m tired of conditioning myself for them
My mind feels free & ready to finally shine
Pushing away any thought to merely conform
We get one life & this one is going to be mine
I’m going to stretch my imagination far out
Tinkering with ideas & love for us all to spread
Spring is the return of life to this sleeping world
In the future, how to be remembered when we’re dead

 

by CAPTAIN Q
© All rights reserved 2018