SPAM® Sushi #19

Don’t disregard to factor in the costs and benefits to your loved ones close-mouthed friends and classification as amply as deal with associates who are feigned by way of your baleful behaviour.
— SaturasIntagorgo

Dear SaturasIntagorgo,
There are certainly benefits to using our loved ones and close-mouthed friends to cover up our baleful deeds, and we never miss an opportunity. We always wear gloves with their fingerprints on them, and carry samples of their DNA (they’ll think twice about spitting in our faces next time!).
Right now we’re going to sneak into the kitchen and commit another crime of the century—pick the chocolate chips out of all the cookies—and none of the proof we leave behind will point to us. (Of course, we could do this after our loved ones and close-mouthed friends unlock the closet where they’ve detained us because they’ve decided to overlook our baleful behaviour.)
— Tati & Tony (Two Astonished Miscreants Who Cannot Believe That a Close-mouthed Person Can Even Spit)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

SPAM® Sushi #17

Certain components of those plants are eaten uncooked, and the teeth and lips are often used to peel the pods and bulbs. In my opinion, my format expertise have improved quite a bit since I was last engaged on Marvel initiatives.
ThorusOscindy

So, what is the name of this latest Marvel initiative? Might Morphin’ Cabbage Patooties? And shall we guess the scenario you’re describing here? Oh! An army of toothy, fat lipped mutants have devoured all vegetable life on Earth, spifflicating buds and bulbs with extreme cruelty! And so the resulting massive fart attack has ruined the ozone layer, hence why you’re equipping your Mjölnirarses to fart back at them. Does that sound pretty close?
Tati & Tony (Superpowered Mentors of Overpowered Flatulence Universe)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

forever ambered

we set out to find a secret stone on the pavement
and began to whirl like that girl in the devil’s dark pearl
do you remember
we laid upwind the pheromones of enslavement
then took a daring stance to dance the prance of scalded squirrels

we looked right at the april sun
tho’ we were told not to
we huffed and chuffed o’er happy air
dandelion swirls behind our eyes

we set out to find the hoary old chestnuts of burgeon
and began to pray like gay fey in jehovah’s dark play
do you remember
we rowed upstream with a warry shoal of kingly sturgeon
then in emerald grass laid brass to glass in arcane ritual

we looked nebby at the may moon
musing next on what to do
we fussed and cussed o’er happy air
dandelion swirls behind our eyes

the locket on my neck
as ambered as the gleam in your eyes
enshrining our faraway spring
you do remember

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020

SPAM® Sushi #15

Wrinklies patients may arrange forgotten the operation, and machiavellian scars are undoubtedly overlooked in the shadowy examination room.
MitchCheduby

Sure, darkened rooms are the current worldwide trend in the beauty industry. Not only wrinkles and scars can be fixed, but also unwanted birthmarks, crossed eyes, overbites and underbites. Nothing’s impossible. Just one flick of a switch and anyone will look young and beautiful!
Tati & Tony (Advocates of Natural Beauty and Looking for Black Cats in a Dark Room)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2020