Teti-à-Tête (With Tony) #12

crumble-cult-210

Tati as TATI

crumble-cult-106

Tony as TONY

 

ACT 77 SCENE 549
DUCKIN’ & RENOVATIN’

 

Tati walks into the living room to see Tony standing on the wall, jutting out horizontally. He’s inspecting a mark on the ceiling.

TATI: What is this? A new kind of fortune-telling? Using spider webs and desiccated flies?

TONY: Nope. I just thought I’d try looking at life from a different perspective for a change.

TATI: Uh huh. And how does it look?

TONY: Erm… Very skip trowelly, I guess?

TATI: What? Your life looks like you’re skipping a trolley?

TONY: No! Skip trowel. It’s a type of finish that ceilings can have.

TATI: Tony, I don’t understand. Are you gazing at the ceiling or at your life?

TONY: Can’t it be both? Perhaps this ceiling represents a developmental point that I cannot get past as a human being. Perhaps this is symbolic of my personal limits.

Tati peers up at Tony with a long musing look, then leaves the room. She’s back a few moments later with two large pick axes. She climbs up onto the wall and stands near the ceiling with him. Then she hits the ceiling sharply with one of the pick axes. Tony looks at her, wide eyed and open mouthed, as bits of debris rain down on them.

TONY: What are you doing?!

Tony swallows some ceiling, and begins to cough and splutter.

TONY: Jesus. That can’t be good for my asthma!

TATI: Yes, Tony, you’re not Michelangelo. Where’s your swing?

A bird’s nest and some cockroaches fall onto Tony’s face. He splutters some more, and very quickly flicks them away.

TONY: Well, duh, I’m not Michelangelo! What’s your point?

TATI: My point is this stone. Would you be so kind as to help me with it, Tony?

TONY: What stone?

A huge piece of ceiling stone clocks the side of his face.

TONY: Oh. That one.

Trying not to pass out, he holds it up for Tati to see.

TATI: Hit it! HIT IT!

TONY: The stone?

TATI: No, drop the stone. Hit the ceiling!

Bemused, Tony drops the stone. He takes his pick axe and tentatively swings it at the ceiling. It catches on the edge of the hole Tati’s already made, and more debris comes tumbling down.

TATI: Watch your head! Duck! Duck!

Tony and Tati duck and weave like Neo dodging bullets in ‘The Matrix’.

TONY: Wow! Are we naturals or what?

TATI: Nope, we’re supernaturals!

Tony stumbles and falls over. Tati chuckles and helps him up again.

TATI: Rise up, Neo! Rise up!

And so, they keep swinging their pick axes and hacking a larger hole until finally they’re satisfied. Tati and Tony down their tools, and climb back onto the floor.

TONY: That was fun!

They lay on the floor and gaze back up through the hole in the ceiling, taking in the view of the night sky with its many twinkling stars.

TATI: So, what is your limit, Tony?

TONY: Through that ceiling and beyond!

TATI: That’s it!

They continue to lay there happily, but then…

TONY: Is that…

TATI: Yes. Rain.

TATI & TONY: Dammit!

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

Open-Source Poetry Three #1

Yippee ki yay, Dear Readers!

Yeah… Maybe we’re in a silly mood today. And maybe it’s got something to do with the dolphins. You know the ones. The dolphins that are rising from the oceans to get us? Mankind isn’t safe!

On the other hand, it would be unfair to think of only dolphins as the foremost threat for humanity. Naked amoebas, feral penguins and deadly spoon sharks can also take offence, and combine their efforts to wipe us out. We wouldn’t stand a chance!

So, here’s what we must do: We must save the world with the power of poetry! We must all band together and create an atomic masterpiece that will blow the dolphins’ skittles sky high! Have a look below to see what our plan entails and how you can play an active role.

1) We provide the first line of the poem.
2) You write the next line.
3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
5) We publish the first and second lines in a follow-up post.
6) Steps 2-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

And, please, don’t forget about those naked amoebas. Tati once got their front and back ends mixed up. What a disaster!

Вензель

wet backs, sharp fangs, dangerous dolphin eyes

Вензель_нижний

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINATONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

Open-Source Poetry Two #1

Dear Readers,

It looks like we’re pretty desperate. For the sake of poetry, we’ll readily bear anything. The last round brought us an invasion of cockroaches. We wonder what will happen this time…

A bout of saporous lolly acne? A rain of worthless bitcoin that darkens the skies for months? Our legs dancing an endless Eskimo jig? It’ll be worse than the ten plagues of Egypt from the Old Testament!

Still, this won’t stop us from providing you, our Dear Readers, with a safe haven for your collaborative efforts. “Collaborative efforts?” we hear you say. “What collaborative efforts? And to what purpose?” Well, let us fill you in…

1) We provide the first line of a poem.
2) You write the next line.
3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
5) We publish the first and second lines in a follow-up post.
6) Steps 2-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

See? It’s the very definition of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! So, have fun! But, please, whatever you do, don’t fling us in dat dere briar patch! We can handle pretty much anything but not rejection!

Вензель

She looks in the book like into a mirror

Вензель_нижний

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

sunday evening sillymony (jumping the lingo shark)

tony:
my name is easy to say
a toe and knee mashed together
in unholy letterimony

tati:
your name is a greasy splay
ass rubbed over ground and heather
an abstruse errormony

tony:
fine, i’ll sound out yours instead
a tat and eye fronting anna
let this be my proud zestimony

crowd:
tati clears her aural drumhead
making sure there’s no banana
her sight bodes ill for testytony

tati (thinking):
gosh, why’s it often this way
when i teach tony ukrainian?
so sick of paying fallimony!

tony (thinking):
damn it all, my dwindling cred!
perhaps i’ll gift this geranium
as fond proof of our palimony?

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017