Tag Archives: Absurdity

PERFECTION IN ACTION // A Bitchin’ Assistant!

She was the best caddie ever. And not only because she carried my clubs.

She knew pin placements. Helped me locate every hole with ease. Knew how to handle my flagstick. Even cleaned my balls whenever I finished.

No idea where she’d acquired such skills, but she was a pro. I still wonder why she chose to chip in with me as my performance was rarely to par.

But she always believed in me. Whenever she flashed that smile with her long, pink tongue lolling about. Whenever she wagged that tail.

I felt like the best player on the field.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

PERFECTION IN ACTION // Hard to be Turd

I lifted the seat lid and peeped inside.

“Do you really think you’re the main cheese here?” I asked, shaking my fist into the darkness.

“Yes.” The voice was calm, deep. “I was here before your Father was a tiny seed.”

“But you’re poo?” I’d meant that as a statement of fact. “How could you exist before Father? It isn’t possible.”

“I’m the Perfect and Mighty Poo. The Cycle of Life. The Alpha and Omega.”

I shrugged, and then flushed.

Someone knocked. “Oh, I’m sorry, are you occupied?”

“Nah.” I wiped my hands then reached for the door. “I’m done.”

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021