Nothing happens without rhyme or reason.
I don’t believe in the power of fate.
But I believe in the power of fake.

…One beautiful day you can find out that you are a blind and deaf dumbhead. It will be a quite degrading discovery, won’t it? OK! You should grieve about your underestimated and mistreated personality for five or six minutes. Don’t do this longer than six minutes! You must appreciate your time!

After that you can start an uprising. You should become a creep. You should put a happy mask on your face. You should look like a ‘Puttin’ on the Ritz’ man. By the way, if you will start to screw with perverts it will really be useful for your rehab…

Don’t think about the opinion of others and don’t forget the handcuff keys at a party! It is very important! Just do it…

Over time you may notice that you aren’t a creep and that you have a happy face under your happy mask. You can forget your old mask at a party one beautiful day… but don’t forget the handcuff keys!

Congratulations!
Your rehabilitation is over. Now you are just a happy weirdo.
And fuck all the world!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
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