It rolls aggressively into my foot. Typical armadillo.
“Hey, you! Move your ass! You’re not alone here!”
I snort derisively, but lift my foot away. Minor turds aren’t worth the bother. I turn to leave.
“Social distancing rules still apply, asshole!”
Okay, now you’re gonna get it. I never lift my foot in vain.
I do a quick assessment of my surroundings, factoring in wind resistance, gravity, and a buxom lady at the cashier’s desk. I aim my foot at the soft, pink ass of this socially responsible shitbag.
The distancing between us will soon be perfectly social and safe.