TONY: There’s a time when I wouldn’t have dared to draw something like this.
TATI: Uh huh. You usually only dare to draw dildos and boobs.
TONY: Yes, now I can add shit to the list.
TATI: Wow. Now you can be considered a mature artist.
TONY: What does that even mean anyway? How mature is it to draw a dick and balls instead of covering them up with a pair of underpants? No, I just drew these things because I wanted to. Nothing more, nothing less.
TATI: Definitely, the name of Tony Single shall now be featured alongside those of Odd Nerdrum, Pieter Bruegel…
TATI: Artists. Who drew shit.
TONY: Oh, what they drew was shit? Or they literally drew with shit? And it was shit? Or brilliant.
TATI: They drew shit. Literally.
TONY: Oh, shit. Really?
TONY: Well, aren’t you just in a silly mood today!
TATI: And you’re in a shitty mood.
TONY: Well, I’m trying to have a serious conversation about god being a palindrome of dog—god being a dog’s leavings, if you will. Perhaps god’s not the great almighty being we make him out to be. Perhaps we ought to hold dogs in higher esteem.
TATI: What a weird concept. Was it a car or a cat I saw?
TATI: Perhaps cars are not the great almighty beings we make them out to be. Perhaps we ought to hold cats in higher esteem.
TONY: But… but… Cats. Cars. They’re not palindromes! You’re completely ruining my whole point!
TATI: But… but… Your ‘shit’ doesn’t spell ‘Tony’ backwards!
TONY: Are you calling me shit?
TATI: No way! I’m honestly trying to follow your shitty logic.
TONY: I’m wondering how many times we can get away with saying the word ‘shit’ in this discussion…
TATI: I suppose we’re going to get beans anyway, but not because of some doo doo balls on your picture, Tony.
TONY: I literally have no idea what you just said.
TATI: I suppose our readers will tell you. I just know I don’t want to get beans.
TONY: What the shit does your ‘get beans’ mean? I’m so confused!
TATI: Wait and see.
TONY: Erm… Okay? How about we just move on from shits and beans and… well, talk about the ‘god’ part of my illustration?
(Tati begins to walk away.)
TONY: Tati? Hey! Wait! TATI?!
(She pays absolutely no attention to him.)
TONY: Well… shit.