i was an attendant
at a mental hospital
i had my very own key
i’d wear a white coat
i’d carry a clipboard
nick all my pens for free

’twas my solemn duty
to make them hot cocoa
and play the odd dvd
and every so often
give a cleansing clyster
maybe massage a knee

each and every sunday
became known as bath day
i’d drown every nit and flea
but every time they saw me
those violent orderlies
would catch me, take away my key

they’d put me in a straitjacket
and ply me with laxatives
they’d ruin my power spree
they gagged my threats to denazify
with special military ops
i’m putin, don’t fuck with me

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022