Open-Source Poetry Three #1

Yippee ki yay, Dear Readers!

Yeah… Maybe we’re in a silly mood today. And maybe it’s got something to do with the dolphins. You know the ones. The dolphins that are rising from the oceans to get us? Mankind isn’t safe!

On the other hand, it would be unfair to think of only dolphins as the foremost threat for humanity. Naked amoebas, feral penguins and deadly spoon sharks can also take offence, and combine their efforts to wipe us out. We wouldn’t stand a chance!

So, here’s what we must do: We must save the world with the power of poetry! We must all band together and create an atomic masterpiece that will blow the dolphins’ skittles sky high! Have a look below to see what our plan entails and how you can play an active role.

1) We provide the first line of the poem.
2) You write the next line.
3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
5) We publish the first and second lines in a follow-up post.
6) Steps 2-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

And, please, don’t forget about those naked amoebas. Tati once got their front and back ends mixed up. What a disaster!

Вензель

wet backs, sharp fangs, dangerous dolphin eyes

Вензель_нижний

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINATONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

100 WORD SKITTLE // Leaking the Dream (Follow-up to Lurking the Dream)

I wasted no time, stepping into the stormwater drain to retrieve the kitten before it drowned. Wind railed at my back, and the first huge drops of icy rain began to plap on the scruff of my neck. I shivered, my foot slipped on the slick ladder, and I fell in.

I flailed momentarily before my head cracked into the sewer wall. The last thing I remember was my face in bloodied water, my scattered manuscript pages, and a title that read ‘Look What the Kitten Dragged In’.

There was a mewl from somewhere in the darkness.

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

christ on a bike

why do they add the aitch between
and how is that meant to be offensive?
jesus and christ, middle name harold
likes long walks on the beach and hurling frisbees
what’s so contemptible about that?

 

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016

GUEST POST // One Last Time by Sheldon Kleeman

To gaze upon your beauty
one last time

I stand waiting
and wanting

As you slowly
walk away

The closeness of
our hearts
has now made
these feelings
grow apart

That these
two hearts
are no
longer
one

The love
we shared
is now
from afar

Stepping
as you
walk
each
stone
is now
our
broken
Heart

 

by SHELDON KLEEMAN
© All rights reserved 2015

To Whom it May Concern

From: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer <rreindeer@rovaniemi.fi>
To: The Christmas Ombudsman <xmasombudsman@un.org>
Subject: Regarding the matter of ongoing reindeer rights violations
Date: 19 December 2018, 12:18:30

To Whom it May Concern,

I wish to bring to your attention the repeated flagrant breaches of labour laws, as well as contravention of occupational health and safety standards, under management of a Mr Santa H. Claus (henceforth referred to as the Red Devil‘).

Breach 1: Physical abuse

According to guidelines, the average deer’s cargo capacity is 90-100 kg during winter and 30-40 kg during summer. Adjusted for the Bockelberg formula, the gross tractive effort of a sledge team that includes nine deer harnessed in tandem is about 40%. This means at Christmas time we can carry up to 360 kg, but not a metric tonne like someone counts!

We therefore demand that the aforementioned Red Devil complete a basic course in reindeer husbandry and transport engineering, and start a strict diet that does not include 6 packets of Jumbo Ho Hos a day. We will not budge on this.

Breach 2: Sexual abuse

In what reality is it acceptable for an overweight 1,748 year old white male to slap us on the ass and call us ‘dear’? Even with the quantum multiverse model of reality factored in, the total is none.

Not only is this behaviour patronising in the extreme, it also reduces us to mere pieces of meat, ripe to be ogled, demeaned, and condescended to. Several deer have already suffered severe emotional trauma due to this, and taken months of unplanned sick leave as a result.

Breach 3: Psychological abuse

Last, but not least, the gastronomical predilections of the aforementioned Red Devil.

He brazenly and callously consumes ‘rilkeil’ within eyeshot of all reindeer employees. As his waistline expands, more unplanned leave is taken, and morale plummets to an all-time low.

For your reference: “Rilkeil is a traditional Chukchi dish that is made from semi-digested moss from a slaughtered reindeer’s stomach mixed with blood, fat, and pieces of boiled reindeer intestine.” (Source: Nelson J. 2013. Before They Pass Away. teNeues, Kempen. 408 pp.)

We ask that you deal with this issue forthwith. He must not be allowed to ruin Christmas 2018 for everybody!

Regards,

Rudolph the Red-Nosed, the Shaft-Reindeer of Tinsel Squad (on behalf and upon authorization of: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen).

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018