100 WORD SKITTLE // Piss Off (Baptism of Fire)

Snot was streaked down his mouth, chin and collarino like ejaculated soul.

He wiped himself off—his nose too—with a paper towel, then balled it up and threw it into the fireplace. The fire leapt up with a flash of green and devoured the offering. The licking of its lips turned quickly into an ominous smile.

“I saw what you did.”

He cocked an eyebrow at the fire.

“So you’re going to blackmail me, are you? Silly chemical process! You won’t tell anybody.”

He stepped over to the fireplace and lifted up his cassock. Then he unzipped his jeans.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

GUEST POST // Interrupted by Kenneth P. Gurney

Paul threw a knife.
It bounded off an aspen tree.

The blade vibrated as if it thudded into the trunk
and the remaining energy wiggled off.

The vibration created an audible sound.
Similar to seventeen year cicadas.

Paul turned his back to the vibrating knife
feeling a sneeze coming on.

His sneeze thundered through the aspen grove.
It displaced the slender trees a few millimeters.

Surface bracken puffed up into the air.
Maybe an inch. Dust lingered at ankle height.

The sneeze rolled the knife over.
It ceased vibrating and played dead.

Paul kept his eyes closed after the sneeze
and stood up straight.

The sun shone directly on his face
and whispered Gesundheit.

by KENNET P. GURNEY
© All rights reserved 2021

kiss the frog (and see what happens)

a mermaid reads a fairy tale
and snorts, ‘do dragons really exist?’
while behind her a dragon frolics
it even does a belly flop into the sea

an elf watches a fantasy series
and giggles, ‘the undead are so stupid!’
while behind her a gaggle of undead
prepare for their final university exam

a vampire picks a halloween costume
she wants something silly like a fairy
while behind her a fairy tries a shiny mermaid tail on
and pities the fact that mermaids don’t really exist

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

Covid Diary pp. 36-37

An email address is all you need to get payback.

There’s no need to hack anything, find a back door, or enter the Matrix like a pissed off Neo. Just visit their social media accounts, rummage through their footprints in the global network, puke a couple of times at their selfies with skinny grandmothers and chubby kittens, and bada boom! You’re about to destroy the life of someone who’s trying to destroy yours. Use that person’s email to leave some provocative comments on various news sites, forums and anywhere else online, then sit back and watch everything about them unravel into glorious chaos.

I haven’t limited my imagination either. I’ve thought outside the box, even running circles around it and performing hyperkinetic rain dances in order to create the most damning shit possible. My moves have been so calculated that my stalker should soon be ‘enjoying’ a run-in with the law. The police, the federal police, the army, and at least four or five other official bodies with many intimidating letters in their titles ought to be crashing through his front door any day now. I believe the internet gaming community calls it ‘swatting’.

Of course, I’m not an idiot, which is why I’ve posted this bullshit from internet cafes and the like, and not my personal PC. I may be a girl but I’m pretty aware of how IP addresses can be tracked. And with the kinds of outrageous things I’m writing in my stalker’s name, I definitely don’t want those traced back to me!

PS: All that social media bullshit came to an abrupt halt within two days. But I’ve not had a chance to bask in this sweet tasting victory because all my personal accounts were banned by each site’s administrators. Pretty suspicious if you ask me. I mean, ALL of them?! I’ve a hunch that my stalker probably decided to burn everything to the ground before being hauled off to whatever grand punishment awaits him. Never mind. It’s high time to put a pause on my virtual life anyway.

It’s good sometimes to step outside and pat the grass.

PPS: Fuck. That went downhill fast. Now I’m at the clink, face to face with my stalker—well, not exactly face to face. He’s across the room, handcuffed to a railing near the watercooler, answering the female detective’s questions.

He still doesn’t know what I look like but I certainly know him from the selfies on his social media accounts. He’s a lot shorter than I expected in real life. I can’t believe he’s trying to flirt with the detective who’s clearly a lot taller and a lot less interested.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021

the meter’s ticking

it’s just another night
they go home by taxi
i go the other way
the driver looks at me
he asks where to stop
but i stay silent

it’s just another night
they go home by taxi
i go from myself
and now my only thought
that i’m short of money
for such a lifelong ride

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2021