Blunt cunt ~ The one… well… the one pretty sassy collaboration

You can’t wear a shirtprada
with the words ‘Bad Girl’ in bold
and a Prada bag
hanging off your bangled arm
and bling-bling knuckled fingers.

I can list the stuff
inside your brand-name feedbag
with closed eyes. Firstly.
Coelho. A paperback.
(You adore vanilla quotes.)

pradaAudio Chopra –
there’s only one way a girl
like you navigates
that upwardly mobile maze.
This said with no irony.

A piece of paper.
A worn cinema ticket
to the world premiere
of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.
Why? It’s your holy scripture.

Valium six pills.prada
You think life’s a tv show
with a mean laugh track.
Anxious you swallow one, two.
Don’t doubt it’s anything else.

Pink lip gloss, of course,
because your overworked lips
should shine on selfies…
And please, wipe that dry white spot
at the corner of your mouth!

pradaA pack of wet wipes
to soak up cum on your back.
You’re careful like that.
You’re not loose, you lie to him.
Bitch knows how to make a man.

Should I continue?
I know you from the ground up.
Your current ringtone.
Your preferred brand of tampons.
You’re an open book for me…

…and I hate you, slut!prada
At the clearance sale you grabbed
from under my nose
the LAST cut-price Prada bag
and MY SIZE of the pink shirt!

 

 

 

 


 

Maybe I’m going to blush right now. Damn! It’s hard to be a good girl around this cheeky Babe (by the way, she is part of the crew Conceited Crusade which violently fights with villainous bad writing and not to give indulgences to anyone… Beware, lazy potboilers!)

Well, okay… never mind. I’m not a hypocrite. I’m NOT going to blush. I love what we did. Thank you, Babe! It was great and… hey… Hey, you! Don’t touch this bag! It’s mine!

P.S. By the way… Prada guys! Don’t think we forgot about you! We performed our part of the contract. Where’s our money? Where do we sign?

 

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & LISTENTOTHEBABE
© All rights reserved 2015

36 thoughts on “Blunt cunt ~ The one… well… the one pretty sassy collaboration

  1. Tia ! Wow ! I adore just how contemporary you are with your soulful paradoxical nature I so much love … Ive worn silver city pink lipstick ever since the 60’s when I was a teenager ( it’s my “signature ” lol ) …you are a delight , dear young friend ! Hugs , megxxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • ^^’ ^^’ ^^’
      (I blush like hell now… but OK! My curiosity won!)

      Oh, Meg, please, please, say that you were hippie!!
      I can bet, you were so lovely with flowers in your hair ❤ ❤ ❤
      (I'm not an expert of cosmetics, to be honest… but I googled 'silver city pink lipstick'. Revlon, yep?) 😛

      I love you, Meg, and I love your young spirit!
      Please, never change!
      Your sassy Tia XXX

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Fantastic. I laughed at the end, I like this attitude, I pretty much like all straight-up-ness, fuck that bitch! Poke her in the eye and kick her in her fake tanned shins. Pull the shoe lace out of your hooded top and strangle the cunt. Then, drag the body away and bury her with her arse hanging out of the ground, naked, in the hope that a bear or something gets its wicked way with it…o’ too far?
    My bad…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh… Gosh! Hallelujah!
      Now I’m sure that real men still exist! Henry, please, may you go with me to the clearance sale this weekend? I saw such a lovely ivory peignoir and a silk cartridge pouch! But I’m sure, this bitch who lives in the apartment next door had her eye on this! Please, come with me…
      Please, please, pretty fucking please with cheese on the top!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Don’t even play with me on this. I’m fucking sharpening my gardening sheers as I type this reply. Condoms, fairy liquid, two Oxo cubes and a hair dryer packed and I’m on my fucking way baby

      Liked by 2 people

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