Oops!… We Did It Again (27 white raven club)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

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Blunt cunt ~ The one… well… the one pretty sassy collaboration

You can’t wear a shirtprada
with the words ‘Bad Girl’ in bold
and a Prada bag
hanging off your bangled arm
and bling-bling knuckled fingers.

I can list the stuff
inside your brand-name feedbag
with closed eyes. Firstly.
Coelho. A paperback.
(You adore vanilla quotes.)

pradaAudio Chopra –
there’s only one way a girl
like you navigates
that upwardly mobile maze.
This said with no irony.

A piece of paper.
A worn cinema ticket
to the world premiere
of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.
Why? It’s your holy scripture.

Valium six pills.prada
You think life’s a tv show
with a mean laugh track.
Anxious you swallow one, two.
Don’t doubt it’s anything else.

Pink lip gloss, of course,
because your overworked lips
should shine on selfies…
And please, wipe that dry white spot
at the corner of your mouth!

pradaA pack of wet wipes
to soak up cum on your back.
You’re careful like that.
You’re not loose, you lie to him.
Bitch knows how to make a man.

Should I continue?
I know you from the ground up.
Your current ringtone.
Your preferred brand of tampons.
You’re an open book for me…

…and I hate you, slut!prada
At the clearance sale you grabbed
from under my nose
the LAST cut-price Prada bag
and MY SIZE of the pink shirt!

Maybe I’m going to blush right now. Damn! It’s hard to be a good girl around this cheeky Babe (by the way, she is part of the crew Conceited Crusade which violently fights with villainous bad writing and not to give indulgences to anyone… Beware, lazy potboilers!)

Well, okay… never mind. I’m not a hypocrite. I’m NOT going to blush. I love what we did. Thank you, Babe! It was great and… hey… Hey, you! Don’t touch this bag! It’s mine!

P.S. By the way… Prada guys! Don’t think we forgot about you! We performed our part of the contract. Where’s our money? Where do we sign?

© All rights reserved 2015