DARWINIAN // Body Shamer vs. Potty Mind

“Fuck. That’s put me off me dinner.”

I look up in time to see him and his cronies turn away in laughter. And then he takes another bite of hamburger anyway. And then they continue to laugh and laugh and laugh beyond any reasonable point of cruelty. What grade A cunts.

No. I’ve got that wrong.

At least a cunt is warm and inviting, and is usually possessed by somebody who’s glad you’re in the room. And they’ve willingly let you in. Why? Because you’re you, and they like that, and that’s okay. Makes me wonder why cunt has ever been used as a pejorative in the first place.

I wish I was with a cunt right now. Anywhere but here.

So, who’s the tool two tables over? Well, he’s the complete opposite of a cunt, that’s for goddam sure. In fact, I’d call him a dick. No, hang on… I like dicks! I mean, sure, not other dicks. Just mine. It’s not like I go around sucking random dicks or anything. And I’m not saying mine’s the best dick out there either. Dicks, by and large, are simple, unassuming things. In short, a dick’s a dick, and just as there’s nothing inherently wrong with cunts, so too with dicks.

Okay, so he’s not a dick or a cunt. Maybe he’s just not very nice. I’ll have to settle for that.

Note to self: Whenever in public food court, sit with cauliflower ear facing wall. Preferably mirrorless kind. That way, no one sees and laughs. Or sees and comments. Or worse still, sees then completely looks away.

I think my heart is going to kill me.

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

43 thoughts on “DARWINIAN // Body Shamer vs. Potty Mind”

  1. I can’t think of a word that would fit someone like that either. Let’s see…. disgusting, rude, childish, cruel, heartless… okay, so maybe I can.

    Liked by 3 people

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  2. Flying appendages
    Are always useful in the explanation
    Or the lack of human decency
    What we listen comes under the heading did I really need to hear that to know
    That life as we use to know is fuvked
    “Back out gracefully
    Turd on the Couch”

    Liked by 3 people

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  3. I am so stupid. I thought this post was generated by a female. I’m certain that I’ve read, you were sometimes three people collaborating, one of them a female. If you could have asked her, she’d tell you that cunt has always been used as a pejorative; just as dick.
    However, let’s move up the body parts a bit, to the cauliflower ears. Is that why the avatar has shoulder length hair? To cover up the ears?
    I’m not trying to be a dick here, as 97 other people have credited your post with a like. I’m just trying to make sure we are all on the same page. You first use the terms in a condescending manner, and then speak highly of them…warm and inviting. I prefer Montrose’s version when Sammy Hagar was still a teenager. Rock Candy…hot, sweet and sticky.
    Okay fine, I’ll click the like button, but you’re only getting 4 stars, because I’m still looking for the correlation.
    Body shamer/potty mouth. And who is this Darwin guy? What does he have to do with anatomy?
    Again, I’m not trying to be a cunt, I’m just stupid.

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    • Firstly, Philip, you’re not stupid in the slightest! Just wanted to make it clear that I don’t downgrade your intelligence in any way because of your query.
      Basically, the main character in this story’s last name is Darwin, something that will become clear in a future installment. (So there’s no way you or anyone could have known this yet.)
      As for the correlation you’re looking for, I think it’s more that Darwin’s thinking about the pejoratives we use, and why are they pejoratives anyway? Vaginas are nice, and penises don’t have to be evil. Maybe they just are what they are, and don’t need to be used in relation to insulting people. If someone’s being an arsehole, then maybe we should just say that.
      Oh. Damn. I just used another neutral body part in relation to an insult! See? Even I do it without always realising. Hee hee. 😛 Anyway, I want to thank you for reading and sticking with us. We really do appreciate your input and your support!

      Liked by 3 people

  6. This read to me like a brain wank. And I meant that well, because I brain wank as well.
    Anyhow, It’s nice to sit on the note that dicks and cunts are actually quite alright.

    Liked by 2 people

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  7. this whole “shaming” thing drives me nuts. long ago, in another universe children learned a rhyme: “sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you.” not that it is easy to take teasing, but it worked for me. a real key to this zone of “everybody get offended by something, so we can vilify,” is in a small book by ‎Don Miguel Ruiz , ‎The Four Agreements.
    These are agreements you make with yourself:
    1. Be impeccable with your word.
    2. Don’t take anything personally.
    3. Don’t make assumptions.
    4. Always do your best.”
    Number 2 addresses OPO (other people’s opinions) cheap book, easy read, good guide to personal peace.

    Liked by 3 people

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