My budget was tighter than a goldfish’s anal sphincter, and there was no way I could make it stretch any farther. I’d slashed my expenses to the barest minimum. It was ridiculous! And no matter how I looked at it, I still wouldn’t be able to afford the flat. There were two options to make the rent they were asking for, and I hated both. After considering the pros and cons, I made a very difficult decision.
‘Nice girl without bad habits looking for flatmate. Phone 409 828 2690 during social hours only.’
I sighed like I was about to walk the plank. I didn’t want to do this, but needs must as the devil drives. I approached the bulletin board and stabbed the leaflet into place with a hairpin I’d found somewhere. I couldn’t even afford a thumbtack. That’s how skint I was.
“Hi, Calix!”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Seriously, you wouldn’t have needed to take an x-ray.
It was the guy from this morning. The café guy. The one who allegedly worked at the magazine with me. He was stood there with a shy smile, and a posture that reeked of unnecessary subservience. Naturally, I still couldn’t recall his name. Had he given me his name? I couldn’t even remember that.
Fuck this. I was going to be rude. “Hey, jack, are you following me?”
He immediately adopted a defensive pose. “Oh my god! No!” he squeaked. “I have to come this way to get back to the office!”
“You’re some kind of weird sex pervert, aren’t you? Admit it!”
“NO no no no no! I’m not! I promise!”
He was waving his arms like a cartoon character. Even sweating bullets like one. It was almost comical, but I was bored.
“I don’t have time for this bullshit.”
I turned away, and left him gawping there at the bulletin board. It was time to get back to the office. From the corner of my eye, I noticed him typing on his phone. It looked for all the world like he was silently mouthing words as he did so. Who was this guy?!
Never mind that, Calix. Just keep walking and don’t look back.
Moments later when I had turned the corner, my phone rang. An unfamiliar number popped up on the screen. I sighed and accepted the call.
“Hullo.”
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019
unbolt me 
laughs. nice one.
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Thank you, Alexa. Hee hee! 😉
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So the guy calls. She picks up, then she tells what she means by Nice habits? Is she Nice to him on the phone call? 😋
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Or maybe she tells him that she’s not obliged to be nice at all, but if he wants to live there, he has to be nice at all times? So many possibilities… 😛
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“…Budget tighter than a goldfish’s anal sphincter…”. I’m still cracking up at that one! Nice writing!
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Hee hee. Thank you, Jerry. 😉
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👍👍 Innocence proves nothing👍👍
— Inscription above the gates of the Calixian Conclave spire or is that the Spyro Gyro?
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Wherever it is to be found, it’s a good quote!
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Wait..is this a serieesss!? 😱😱 Was that the same guy who called her in the end? Had to be right? I mean for a second there I thought it was someone who was interested in the flat BUT SHE JUST PUT THE AD UP, right? Unless, he saw her number from the ad and then called her? OKAY…I WANNA KNOW MORE NOWWW!! 😍😍❤️
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It certainly is a series. You can find more if you search under ‘Calixian’ and ‘Darwinian’. Lots of good stuff there for your reading pleasure, my good Rain! As for wanting to know more, answers you shall get very very soon… 😉
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I was actually PRAYING that it was! Because now, I am gonna go and save all the posts in this series and read them! 😍😍 yyayyyyy!! SUCH FUN! 👻👻🤣🤣
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Ooh! Please let us know what you think of ’em then! 😀
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I DEFINITELY WILLLLL!! ☺️☺️👻👻
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I like how Calix is angry about her situation and becomes defensive and rude – bad attitude prevails. Does she speak to everyone in the office in the same way or just snap random retorts. “” posture that reeked of unnecessary subservience””. The guy needs to get a spine.
He needs somewhere to stay. Now Calix, how desperate are you? Now I am not sure if having someone in the same workplace as a flatmate is a good idea, so why advertise there?
But then again, a spineless guy might just be the person she needs to keep the place clean and tidy.
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See? Even spineless guys have their uses… 😛
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I love the snark! I actually laughed out loud at not needing an x-ray.
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Hee hee. I was wondering if that bit might be a little too on the nose. I’m glad it wasn’t!
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She’s found a flatmate. Ah, but will she accept?
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All will be revealed… 😉
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Wait with baited breath. Which is much more sociable than bad breath. 🙂
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Haha, I loved the ad she puts up!
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Hee hee. Yeah, talk about a case of false advertising! 😛
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Nah, she’s alright. Sort of. 😅
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In a certain kind of way. 😛
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I tried that number. It seems to be disconnected!
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Ain’t that always the way? 😛
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