brain cancer

i shall not be a burden
i shall not forget to pray
i shall be an inspiration
i shall die in the right way

for those that plead the blood
do nothing but think they’re helping
i metastasise in compliance
in deference to the eyes that will

i shall not be a burden
i shall not say god is cruel
i shall be a demonstration
i shall die in the right way

for those that invoke the name
do nothing but think they’re helping
i catastrophise in silence
in deference to the eyes that won’t

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023

53 thoughts on “brain cancer”

    • So glad you asked this, Dolly! I have some pretty deep scars from back in my religious days. It’s a part of my past that I’m still very much processing, and some of those toxic beliefs I used to hold were very damaging to my worldview and thinking. In a way, that also feels synonymous with my Mother’s dementia in that everything she was has been completely broken down and destroyed by her condition. It feels like a kind of brain cancer to me in that now she is just an empty shell. I love my Mother and I feel like she’s being taken away from my family before she’s truly taken away, stolen twice if you will. It still distresses me that my Mother should need to suffer this profound indignity near the end of her life as part of some cosmic tyrant’s ‘plan’. So, yeah, I guess there’s a lot going on in this poem from multiple angles.

      Liked by 6 people

    • I suspected it was a deep emotional trauma, rather than a physical illness. I had to take care of my stepmother who had dementia, while making sure my father was safe living with her. It is certainly devastating for us to watch, but you have to bear in mind that they are not aware of it. They do not suffer; on the contrary, they are mostly happy if nobody demands something of them or contradicts them. I feel for you, Tony and I wish you strength – you’ll need it.

      Liked by 3 people

    • I’m sorry you had to go through that with your stepmother. And you are so right about not demanding anything of them or contradicting them. That’s certainly when my Mother gets the most agitated. I do hope she really is okay inside her mind as it currently exists.

      Liked by 2 people

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