today our god smoked a lot
just look at those heavy clouds
then he took a massive piss
for nine hundred sixty hours

noah chopped huge planks of wood
did it with his chopping fist
slapped together a wee boat
before the waters could rise

the re’em poked its nose inside
but noah shooed it away
It was crowded & stuffy
re’ems were bigger than blue whales

upset, the re’em craned its neck
& pricked god’s arse with its horn
upset, god smote the re’em back
right up its almighty crack

then the firmament crackled
& the waters subsided
like gurgling down a drain hole
along with the re’em’s remains

noah’s wee boat went aground
atop a big arse mountain
creatures piled out & ran off
scattering every which way

noah then got himself drunk
pitched a tent, slept in the buff
put one son in a tizzy
the others covered his bits

happily ever after
multiply & fill the earth
venerate or freaking else
these our smoking god decreed

as a sign of his good grace
covenant with man & beast
a rainbow was set in clouds
then the gays came & stole it