100 WORD SKITTLE // Red Options

Chupacabra was reading Wikipedia again, tongue diligently poking out. She was determined to rope Goat into a relationship. Research would be the key to success.

When said research indicated the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, she decided to make some borscht. All she needed were the ingredients—primarily red beetroots. Time to go shopping!

However, there was a clearance sale on lipsticks, so Chupacabra got side-tracked trying to pick the right red shade for her comely lips. After all, there were easier ways to get a man. She’d not been dubbed the ‘Goat Sucker’ for nothing!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

i choose life

i walked through death’s door
and i kicked the reaper in the nuts
he was quite surprised
and even dropped his scythe
with a pained sigh

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

Biological Weapons & Creaky Unicorns

Once upon a time, Tati & Tony had a small announcement to make.

You see, they’d been writing relentlessly for Unbolt Me since 2014. A long time! And although the site had been—and would continue to be—their top priority, they desired to stretch their creative muscles in other areas.*

Because Tati’s & Tony’s ambitions kept punching through the roof and plucking clouds from the sky, they decided to take a real swing at an actual real something. Something super cool and memorable. So they began this something in the month of January 2022, and soon realised that progress wouldn’t be as quick and smooth as they’d like.

Tati wrinkled her nose. Tony scratched his [REDACTED]. They may even have deserved a Noble prize for their optimism and willingness to adapt. Yes, they formulated a more reasonable plan. From now on, Tati & Tony would post on Mondays and Thursdays, not every three days like they used to. It’d still be a pretty frequent schedule, just at a slightly reduced pace. This was a good thing as not only would their readers get the chance to actually miss Tati’s & Tony’s crazy writings, they’d also look forward to each new post with even more unbridled enthusiasm than before. And Tati & Tony would have the ‘breathing space’ needed for the bold, secret project they had in mind.

In short, the adventure had only just begun. Tati & Tony hoped that their Dear Readers were holding onto their dentures. It was gonna be a hell of a wild ride from here on in!

* Of course, Tati and Tony were entirely too ethical to shamelessly promote their books and comics during said small announcement, so the peoples of this world could breathe easy. (Oops! Looks like they did it anyway!)

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

DOLLY MIXTURE (With Love to Women) // A Lobster Candy 100 Word Skittle

And he said, “For you, my Daughter, I have the best gift. An unique one. You’ll have the voice of a siren.”

“But I am a siren, Father!” Confusion was writ across her face. “I lured a bonny sailor to his death this very morn!”

“It adds not to one’s fame to send men to their doom. Try to save at least one life to tell the two things apart.”

And so her voice sounded like a warning siren from that day forth. And she saved many men from burning houses in the middle of the ocean. It was weird.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

DOLLY MIXTURE (With Love to Women) // A Crisp Dragée Haiku

he calls her ‘art house’
there’s sound and the picture’s clear
but he can’t fathom

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022