they’ve erected a statue
right on the main square
where the gutters swill red
it must all go somewhere
more than a grand opening
there the ribbon is cut
the people jockey to see
a democracy forgot
note his moment of glory
how blindly the crowd loves
none mention the bodies
a truth that secretly rubs
& yet in a week or so
the leavings will remain
of know-nothing pigeons that
care not for fascist gain
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2024
lame dog
he has three legs
& a smoker’s cough
but he don’t sweat it
lame dog
chases cockeyed pigeons
& sneezes at the sun
gnarly butt-wagged tail
lame dog
he don’t lick the hand
that give the medicine
‘cos he got self-respect
but lame dog
always shakes paw
even if it makes him
plop on his butt
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2023
I was sitting on the box, sipping cold beer, when suddenly something rustled under me. I almost jumped out of my skin with surprise and spilled beer onto the counter. Damn!
Someone began to guffaw. I scowled and was going to give a rebuff, but this loud rustle repeated. I slipped off the box and cautiously peeped into a round hole on the side. There was something white inside, like a big rat or a rabbit. I looked through a hole on the other side. A pigeon! Aren’t they flyers? How on earth could someone cage a poor bird into such a stuffy, dark box? A big poker-picture on the side of the box said ‘Kuckuck Circus’. Of course. That was a given. A circus.
I stood straight up and looked about. The bar had suddenly lost its charm. It was as if someone had twitched the festal cloth off a table and bared its true, smeared and scratched ugly surface.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2017
“Get out of the light, bimbo!”
Someone pushed me from behind with much giggling. Why on earth do these idiots call me ‘bimbo’ all the time? I definitely should change my style! It’s such a pity that I can’t make a public appearance with my real exterior. They would have bitten their tongues then, that’s for sure!
But they were right to some extent. Standing at the threshold wasn’t the best way to spend time in a bar. I went right to the counter and perched on a high, narrow box which served as a bar stool.
The bartender jumped out of nowhere. I opened my mouth to make an order, but he looked me up and down, tsked, and disappeared again. I stayed there with my mouth still open in surprise. What a strange way to serve customers!
I didn’t get a chance to express my indignation. The bartender popped up again. (Was he sitting under the counter?) He plopped a hug mug with dark beer in front of me. Hmm.
The bartender gave me a wink.
“Schubfachprinzip! Do you know how it works?”
I was at a loss. Such an unexpected question! I’ve never supposed that combinatorics and beer could be married. I thought to myself for a moment then said with uncertainty, “Well… if ten pigeons are placed into nine boxes…”
The bartender burst out laughing. I felt a bit embarrassed. Maybe I’d made a muddle. I’m a humanist after all, not a digithead.
“Schubfachprinzip. It’s easy. Drink one box of beer and get another box for free.”
He giggled and disappeared again, leaving me to wonder about such strange mathematics.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2017
Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)
Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.
We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*
If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.
* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2016-2018
unbolt me 