There are three things I don’t feel like doing today.

Of course, the first thing is waking up. Whoever invented the alarm clock needs to be spit roasted in hell while listening to an eternal loop of alarm clock buzzers.

The second thing is making a tiny Buddha sandwich. Have you tried to catch a tiny Buddha? If he’s not making tiny copies of himself, he’s walking through walls or levitating up chimneys to make good his escape. Bastard.

The last one is calling my publisher. He’s like a tiny Budda with an alarm clock… but without the alarm clock.