Hocus-Pocus Lotus Locos ~ The one inappropriately funny collaboration

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Within the English Province of Cheshire,
Sacred Lotus flourishes along the mire.
Beneath the Cattails, up Lotus’ holed lace
a little boy once tilted his curious face….

Sometimes the Sacred Loti makes scared boys
unable to count to ten, wind-blown, maladroit.

For Bastion though, close only counted in horseshoes
(and hand grenades, which made him afraid), whose
fear of holes and need for control, was never dulled
no matter how many blanks he filled… not until grown.

Sometimes Noblemen are bequeathed ignoble fortunes,
if the Bastard’s slung arrows of outrageous abhorrence…

Such was the illicit got lot, of the Noble Bastard Bastion of Cheshire
in scorning horned redhead Romani’s fiery desires, who after awhile
with amourette brunettes, dark-haired donnas who Amaretto-binged
(after they spilt their guts, just for him to jilt their milk when he split),
hell-raised a harem’s unquenchable revenge against him ’til the poor
Cheshire sour-puss’s head curiously dropped down dead… premature.

Pissed off bombshells led by a hush-hush Slavic blonde mistress
fueled by rage and Vodka to the cooch-tease with the coin fetish,
with a candlestick, snatched his Lota lamp bank; Rubbing limp dick
to the nymphets who wished to get laid, Bastion could only get lit
putting coins in puss-purses, infuriating the reverse gang-rapists
smashing the flaccid shell of the nervous turtle lacking firmness!

Left shortly with a healing chode, he slowly hit the road, not heeling
those daughters of Achilles, who couldn’t snatch the snapper weenie.
No longer playing pipe, Full Monty python no longer dancing pantless,
in quicksand sinking, bit the harem heels crushing his head, heedless.

Sometimes escaping out the frying pan, just means landing in fire.
Sprung free, he quickly jumped down a well he wished to fill higher!

Within and throughout the English Province of Cheshire,
Sacred Lotus flourishes along the mired, long admired
Sixpence desires, which more than once made a dent
with heads and tails in the Tomcat’s smile, at last rent.

Sometimes the wide abyss of heaven’s holey gate opens,
to rain misfortune thick upon Bastards with slot tokens
!

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & RY HAKARI
© All rights reserved 2015

On Noon No ~ The ‘Well… what does it all mean?’ collaboration

Dammit, I’m mad!

And there are really many reasons to be mad about Tony…

…the first one is Crumble Cult.
…the second one is ONCE MORE, WITH FOREBODING.

The third… The fourth… The hell with it! I don’t need so many! There is only a single reason for me… It’s Tony Single!

Thank you, Tony…

Вензель

Our end began with weaponised words,
bashing the chest like a thousand rolling-pins
on sourdough heart and bone.

Of course, you had a dim foreboding.
Crunch of parchment. Red saffron underfoot.
A marble chopping stone.

I plated myself up for disappointment.
A corrugated brow. Cold hearth and home.
You meant for me to die alone!

You always were flippant and presumptuous.
You estimated our life by eye
and borrowed a swollen loan.

Arugula words were all I tasted from you.
You were east of the sun then west of the moon.
I hardly knew where to point the bone.

Blah… The next pathetic maggot holds forth on stars…
You fought for that last stool on the cheap row
and lost a stage with the vacant throne!

Fine then. I know when I’m royally licked.
Someone gets me a psychotherapist.
Vagina dentata! My ardour has blown!

Lick-time is over. My Symplegades clash.
The dry pillar of Pompey engorges.
The end begins… and ends. Bring a blank die-stone!

Вензель_нижний

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2015

Oops!… We Did It Again (Unity)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2014-2018