Moses and the Open Eyed Sneeze (Chapter Three)

1 “Is this is your doing, Ze’ev? Don’t lie to me. I know your modus operandi!”

2 Zipporah throws a walnut on the table and slams it with the dildo. Bang! 3 The walnut spins out of control and takes off like a shot. It smacks against the wall beside poor Ze’ev. 4 He shrinks, taking a step back. Why is he always having to deal with this crazy family?

5 Not so long ago the weak-willed Moses was here paying for his weird order (muttering something about how a burning bush compelled him to do it), and now that same order is being brandished by his furious wifey. 6 Ze’ev is beginning to wish he’d never made the cursed thing.

7 “You love making pestles, don’t you? Be so kind as to make a mortar as well!”

8 Ze’ev doesn’t quite know how to react. What does she mean by this cryptic remark? 9 Is he ever safe with this mad woman around? It’s doubtful. 10 He nervously rubs one elbow, gesturing at the offending dildo with his free hand. His mouth is moving but no sound will come.

11 “Well, should I refresh your memory, or can you do it without me lifting my hem?”

12 Zipporah stands there, her arms akimbo, waiting for him to say or do something. Then it dawns on him. 13 She wants him to make a… 14 Oh. 15 My. 16 God. 17 When Zipporah sees the shocked look on Ze’ev’s face, she turns and leaves the workshop. She’s quite satisfied with the response.

18 I think that went very well.

© All rights reserved 2016

20 thoughts on “Moses and the Open Eyed Sneeze (Chapter Three)

  1. It’s better than a burning Bush
    If you get my drift
    God didn’t make little green apples
    Just red rubber balls
    With long strings and a paddle at the end
    Wack a doodle
    Shit and giggles
    Beat the book
    And shut the door
    The provoker

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I read this as a stand-alone story and it kicked my ass off. Granted, I had to read it three times before I was able to fill in all the blanks but still…

    Liked by 2 people

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