It rolls aggressively into my foot. Typical armadillo.

“Hey, you! Move your ass! You’re not alone here!”

I snort derisively, but lift my foot away. Minor turds aren’t worth the bother. I turn to leave.

“Social distancing rules still apply, asshole!”

Okay, now you’re gonna get it. I never lift my foot in vain.

I do a quick assessment of my surroundings, factoring in wind resistance, gravity, and a buxom lady at the cashier’s desk. I aim my foot at the soft, pink ass of this socially responsible shitbag.

The distancing between us will soon be perfectly social and safe.