ABSURDIS EXTREME // Case Study #1,986 [19/11/1986] by B.A. Loney

Every time there’s a quadratic equation to be solved, I’m compelled to put my thinking cap on. And my thinking glasses. And my thinking moustache. And my thinking codpiece. It’s a whole thing, and I have to do it each and every time something crops up that’s even vaguely taxing on the old grey matter.

Now, you could say, “What’s the big deal? I whip my knickers on and off every day without so much as a howdy-do, and no one considers that the Labours of Hercules, do they?” Well, to that I’d say the Labours of Hercules is very much what I’m going through whenever I put on my thinking gear to get a problem sorted! Chronic fatigue syndrome ain’t easy to live with, son, and when you stack that on top of an obsessive-compulsive disorder that compels you to wear what amounts to a costume every time your brain farts…

Anyway, let’s just say it ain’t easy, and leave it at that. Oh, and did I mention that I’m a sentient, grey slime? No? Well, now reread the first part, keeping this new piece of knowledge in your springy, pink brain. A cap, glasses, and a moustache. I’m not even sure where the hell to put the moustache half the time! And the codpiece? The fucking codpiece that jams up my tender loins every time!

Grey Slime

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

20 thoughts on “ABSURDIS EXTREME // Case Study #1,986 [19/11/1986] by B.A. Loney

  1. Where to start with the love? First, you made me long for polynomials, and that can’t be good. Second, “sentient grey slime?” I’m dying. And a codpiece on a “tender loin?” I crown you king 💖

    Liked by 1 person

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