Author Archives: Tony Single

Open-Source Poetry #4

Dear Readers,

Our communal Open-Source Poetry experiment continues, and it’s proven to be just as popular as when it first began! Your fine efforts have helped us to craft a fabulous new poem so far. We cannot wait to see how it turns out! Freaking awesome!

So, anyway, we received about thirty-five submissions and had a really hard time picking only the one. Moreover, someone threatened us with mob law if we didn’t pick a particular line, but we dug our heels in and remained staunch straight shooters. (Hullo, Son Of Dewangan! You can mail us the cockroaches any time. We’re not afraid! And our address is… Erm, actually, let’s just forget about that little detail for now…)

Oh, hey! You know what else? We’re on the cusp of a New Year! Can you feel the excitement and anticipation? We totally can, so please do keep your contributions coming. We love everything that you, our Loyal Readers, have created so far. Sodio1 wrote the next line, so please put your hands together in appreciation for a job well done! Truly, utterly excellent!

Okay, no time to waste! Let’s move onto to the next round, guys. Knock our socks off! Knock ’em right off ’cos we can’t wait to put them on again! (Yup, we’re a bit strange that way.) Oh, and for those that need a little reminder of how this all works…

1) We provide the next line of the poem.
 2) You write the following line.
 3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
 4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
 5) We publish every line to date in a follow-up post.
 6) Steps 1-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

WOOHOO and a Happy New Year! Hoo YEAH!

Вензель

What if I said sorry for saying sorry all the time?
Or should I just give you a baby porcupine?
Alas, it will be one and the same outcome
Saying sorry results with quills in your bum

From now on I will change my approach
And make the pine and quill my coach
My steel derriere, my impenetrable armour

Вензель_нижний

by TETIANA ALEKSINA, TONY SINGLE, PHOENIX RISEN, ARTSYCHICK82 & SODIO1
© All rights reserved 2017

Oops!… We Did It Again (awesome sauce)

Erm… hullo there. (This is rather awkward…)

Dear Reader, the stuff that was originally posted here has been removed.

We have done this because said stuff has since been included in one of our published books. We hope you’ll believe us when we say we’re not trying to be stingy. No, this has been done to honour the people who have already spent their hard-earned money on our eBook creations.*

If, however, for some reason you’re unable to buy one of our books, and feel you’ll die without seeing this piece of writing, then please contact us via admin@unbolt.me. We won’t allow our Dear Readers to fade away in the dark. We’ll send you the piece in question, and it will be absolutely free. All you need do is ask.

* Of course, we would be like two happy puppies if you too decided to buy one of our books.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017-2018

GUEST POST // If the Tables Were Turned by Jane Paterson Basil

Please tell me, what would you do
if you were confined in a zoo
and all of the animals
from lizards to camels
strolled around pointing at you?

Now tell me, how would you feel,
if you were encased behind steel
while the chimpanzees
watched your antics with glee
and laughed at you eating your meal?

So, what if the tables were turned?
It’s time the corrupted ones learned
just like human beings
those creatures have feelings
and all of us should be concerned.

Inspired by the Government’s recent faux pas (how’s that for an understatement?) over the sentience of animals.

by JANE PATERSON BASIL
© All rights reserved 2017

Fuck-ups, Dreams & Harsh Reality

Is it the end of 2017 already? Damn!

In 2016, we published two books. In 2017, none.

In 2016, we met one time. In 2017, none.

In 2017, Tony didn’t become a heavy metal star, and Tati didn’t get her Noble Prize in literature.

But, hey, this doesn’t make us losers. After all, we have done other things! Let’s list them, shall we?

We’ve begun preparations to publish a Crumble Cult collection. Yes. In print. In three languages. Wow!

We’ve launched our very own Patreon page, and now have the financial support of some very generous benefactors. We could not do any of this without you guys!

We’ve also started some new books, with plans for more. One about cavemen. Another featuring a marshmallow tree. Yet another covering the ABCs of life. And Tati’s novel continues apace.

Tati even achieved some personal career growth. She got herself a new office, huge table and colleagues. And she got a bigger salary. But she would also be happy to kick all of this to hell and spend life as a writer of renown in some exotic, far-off clime!

Oh, and Tati began learning to draw. (Watch out, Tony, she’s going to take your job!) Tati even proved herself as a translator, and continued her education in English. So many strings to her bow!

Speaking of Tony, he got a new mop, cleaning agent and rubber gloves in 2017. He even played some exciting video games and continued dreaming of being Tati’s dogsbody in some exotic, far-off clime. He dreams big, you know!

Tony also continued to sweat over the editing of Tati’s writings, and tried to be impeccably polite about the quality of her drawings and pronunciation.

Anyway, 2017 has made us very sure that we’re on the right path. You see, Unbolt Me is no mere whim. We do crave to change our lives, and in so many respects. Just watch us!

Dear Reader, we want to thank you for walking with us every step of the way these last few years. It’s a long journey we’ve embarked upon, and we are grateful for your company. Seriously, your support means a lot to us!

Ultimately, the measure of our success will be the people who sniff the new print smell of one of our books. It’s a thought that warms us. It motivates us. And it’s you, Dear Reader, who will make that possible.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017

THE CRUMBCAST // Supersize it!

It’s episode twenty, baby! Yeah! The little Crumbcast that could!

This time round I have someone to talk to. The subject is video games and their place in society. How did they get here and what does this mean for our future?

This episode is easily twice as long as my previous ones, and has more gabbing and intellectual pretentiousness than ever before. Let’s go large!

PS: This is a bit strange, but if you want to listen to the sound then you should click on the picture below. Yes, it’s real magic in the digital world, I tell ya!

by TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2017