Zoos are too crowded.
Don’t want to be stuck in queues?
Visit a care home.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019
Category Archives: TATI&TONY
Daddy Makes Sense of Liberality (Anti-Zoo Argument #2)
Zoos are way too strict.
You want to feed nuts to trunks?
Go vacuum your room!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019
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Daddy Makes Sense of Economics (Anti-Zoo Argument #1)
Zoos are too costly.
You want to see gorillas?
Just watch the neighbours!
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019
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100 WORD SKITTLE // Purrrfect Evolution
When you compare the cats of today to their predecessors, you realise just how tiny they’ve become. Domestication has taken the sabretooth out of the tiger, so to speak. Well, not quite all of the tooth, but you get my meaning.
On the other hand, cats have become much brainier, more sagacious. They’re so small that they must be quick on the uptake if they hope to continue to live in clover. Well, not quite in clover, but I’m sure you get my meaning.
Anyway, they’re cute when they purr, and only scratch and hiss occasionally. It’s a fair trade-off.
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019
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CALIXIAN // Nice Girl Without Bad Habits
My budget was tighter than a goldfish’s anal sphincter, and there was no way I could make it stretch any farther. I’d slashed my expenses to the barest minimum. It was ridiculous! And no matter how I looked at it, I still wouldn’t be able to afford the flat. There were two options to make the rent they were asking for, and I hated both. After considering the pros and cons, I made a very difficult decision.
‘Nice girl without bad habits looking for flatmate. Phone 409 828 2690 during social hours only.’
I sighed like I was about to walk the plank. I didn’t want to do this, but needs must as the devil drives. I approached the bulletin board and stabbed the leaflet into place with a hairpin I’d found somewhere. I couldn’t even afford a thumbtack. That’s how skint I was.
“Hi, Calix!”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Seriously, you wouldn’t have needed to take an x-ray.
It was the guy from this morning. The café guy. The one who allegedly worked at the magazine with me. He was stood there with a shy smile, and a posture that reeked of unnecessary subservience. Naturally, I still couldn’t recall his name. Had he given me his name? I couldn’t even remember that.
Fuck this. I was going to be rude. “Hey, jack, are you following me?”
He immediately adopted a defensive pose. “Oh my god! No!” he squeaked. “I have to come this way to get back to the office!”
“You’re some kind of weird sex pervert, aren’t you? Admit it!”
“NO no no no no! I’m not! I promise!”
He was waving his arms like a cartoon character. Even sweating bullets like one. It was almost comical, but I was bored.
“I don’t have time for this bullshit.”
I turned away, and left him gawping there at the bulletin board. It was time to get back to the office. From the corner of my eye, I noticed him typing on his phone. It looked for all the world like he was silently mouthing words as he did so. Who was this guy?!
Never mind that, Calix. Just keep walking and don’t look back.
Moments later when I had turned the corner, my phone rang. An unfamiliar number popped up on the screen. I sighed and accepted the call.
“Hullo.”
by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019
unbolt me 