Category Archives: POEMS

the crankypants chronicles

the wind howls
breaks through my windows
during unsocial hours
i’ll goddam sue the wind

what a fucking ruckus
what a fucking mess
glass in my goddam feet
sue you up and down the street

and you, street lantern
don’t wink your light at me
cos i’ll goddam sue you too
as the wind’s accomplice

shady fucking trees
waving so innocently
you too, goddam mongrel
pissing there like i don’t see

and you, crack in pavement
making me jump every day
to step on you’s bad juju
don’t make me superstitious

i hate you, fucking moon
dumbly hanging there
and i’ll goddam sue the air
for clogging up my lungs

i turn my face to the sky
howl like a werewolf
you too, goddam universe
what the hell am i doing here?

and you, fucking neighbour
i’ll goddam sue your baseball bat
and the subpoena in my mailbox
for my howling during unsocial hours

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2024

TATI’s & TONY’s DEAD POET TOUR // The Musical Ass by Tomas de Iriarte y Oropesa

The fable which I now present,
Occurred to me by accident:
And whether bad or excellent,
Is merely so by accident.

A stupid ass this morning went
Into a field by accident:
And cropped his food, and was content,
Until he spied by accident
A flute, which some oblivious gent
Had left behind by accident;
When, sniffling it with eager scent,
He breathed on it by accident,
And made the hollow instrument
Emit a sound by accident.
“Hurrah, hurrah!” exclaimed the brute,
“How cleverly I play the flute!”

A fool, in spite of nature’s bent,
May shine for once, by accident.

by TOMAS DE IRIARTE Y OROPESA (1750-1791)
Public Domain Poetry

off the leash

a stray dog drowses beneath the park bench
a high class cat purrs so refined in french
a black sheep pretends to belong with the white flock
a cow chews tobacco, filling the farmers with shock

since democracy was proclaimed at the animal farm
humans have looked on with a degree of alarm
without fur or feather and walking on hind legs
they think animals are no more than ham and eggs

only the lazy underestimate these orwellian times
society has failed to turn from violence and war crimes
the animals have taken note of mankind’s wicked ways
flipper, paw and hoof follow in the footsteps of malaise

can humanity change its ways before it’s too late
will humanity face the wrath of the animal state
does humanity deserve this impending tide of hate
should humanity be spared this apocalyptic fate

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2024

hiberheim

we swore allegiance to winter
in this ice sanctuary
where snowfall whirls
in its ritualistic dance

we swore allegiance to winter
and fell asleep in euphoria
let our bodies turn into
fragile white materials

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2024

condimentality

this is the day that divided the earth
mustard or ketchup on your hot dog?
the choice of condiment was paramount
one side wore yellow, the other side red
tension was rising like fermented dough
pretty soon it got personal, with pickles too
insults were slung with side order of onions
and a tower of babel of used paper towels
then out came the knives and other utensils
the salt and pepper shakers, and glutamate
with preservative smeared over more conflict
kept it going way past the point of sanity
this is the day that divided the earth
when the first vegan was immaculately conceived

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2024