Tag Archives: Arse

100 WORD SKITTLE // Pranayama

It’s hard to breathe with your feet. After all, they’re usually pressed to the ground. You can’t run, jump or dangle them all the time. That’s why you can sneeze and choke.

Same with your hands. They’re so eager to roam around and touch everything. But you’re doomed to wash them repeatedly, trying to keep them clean. That’s why you can splutter and suffocate.

Same with your arse. (We’ll trust you with the reasoning on this.)

So, it’s better to pull your nose out of others’ business and use that for breathing instead. Hasn’t it been Nature’s plan all along?

Pranayama

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2022

the fitzroy killer

what kind of turtle breathes through its arse?
a brave one, that’s what, that moves real fast!
it doesn’t give a shit what you find reasonable
it’ll squeeze with its cheeks anything seasonable
be it bananas or tim tams or mini fridges
it’s all moshing green hair and bristling ridges
don’t stand in its path or it’ll gnaw your shoes
then down to the bone ’til you’re yesterday’s news!
what’s more, it doesn’t need any goddam excuses
it’ll blend then swill you like some vegan juices
so, you’d better not be messing with the bum breathing turtles
if you don’t want to rest in pieces between the scrubs of myrtles

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2021