& the hooded skies emptied
o’er another fallen star
it was only love undeclared
it was only consciousness after all

growing up was unavoidable
& i was taught to be unlovely
but not them
they could not have shone brighter
had they been allowed
& a hidden christ could have shown itself

how long had i been walking here
turning white noise into useless words
for all the things that could ne’er be said
for all the eyes i saw that were dead

sleepwalking down paladin lane
where even the hobos had their song
& harmonicas to play it on
just heavenly bodies now
tainted by god’s grey earth
i’d ne’er shine so bright as they
i’d ne’er fall so fine as they

where were you, hidden christ
to save us, misery, one & all
when we found no place at the table
when another epistle went unpenned
when grief was failure to participate
when i lost myself again