Once upon a time, my belly was made of cookie dough. I don’t know how or why it happened. Or even when. One moment I was crushing whole anvils with mere stomach crunches, and the next I was resisting the urge to bake and eat myself.

It’s thanks to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ that my prayers were heard, and that there were suddenly peanuts and raisins in my belly! I was able to pick these out and be satiated without giving in to the horrifying temptation of chewing on my own flesh. Who chews flat dough without raisins anyway? Nobody but godless heathens, that’s who!

All this to say that this is why I believe in miracles. A real life one happened to me that day and I’ll be eternally grateful for it. I mean, what would have happened if I’d eaten my own belly? I would have had no belly left to… fill my belly. And then where would I have been? Damn. Such a scary thought!

And then they invented chocolate…