Today’s Special (March 4)

“Don’t faff around, Sally! She’s harmless, I tell ya!”

It’s a perfect spring day, shining like a new penny and smelling like a wild honey wind. On such days, sunlight reflects into people’s eyes, they’re late to work, and everyone falls in love at a glance.

Two young waitresses chirp near the back door of a little café. Cigarette smoke blends with the aroma of coffee and the smell of fresh baking. A big cat sprawls in delicate sunbeams, sharing a timeworn bench with some perky sparrows. There’s enough sun to go around!

“Hey you, young ladies! Quit slacking off! Come on, get busy!”

The manager’s shrill voice crushes this idyllic scene in the space of a clap. It shatters into a myriad of tinkling colourful pieces. The waitresses flit into the café. The sparrows scatter away like spilt sugar dragées. Only the cat continues to enjoy itself, correctly supposing that it’s busy enough anyway.

“Look! Look, Molly! It’s her again!”

Sally tugs on her girlfriend’s sleeve. Molly brushes her hand away. The new barista with his bright sapphire eyes and dazzling smile is working his magic near the old coffee machine. No one understands how he manages to get such a divine taste from third-rate beans. Every day, Molly’s all eyes and bated breath, spying on him. It feels so very close, but again and again the secret slips past Molly like a cheeky little Casper to hide in the vanilla steam puffs. The barista flashes her a wink and places some cups on a tray. Order’s up!

Molly takes the tray and rushes out into the street. She’s almost skipping. No one wants to sit inside a café on such a wonderful day!

She’s here. An old woman in a worn coat and a ridiculous straw hat, standing near an empty table. Some visitors have just left, and there are empty clay cups, dirty saucers and cutlery on the table. There’s also an ashtray with two stubs, and one of them has left a tip. The old woman carefully sweeps something from the table into a handkerchief, which she then folds and puts in her pocket. Molly looks at her. The old woman notices Molly, offers a shy smile and a nod, and walks away.

Molly stands there for a little while longer, enjoying the sweet air and its symphony of vehicle horns, then goes over to the table. She places the empty clay cups onto the tray, as well as the dirty saucers and cutlery, changes the ashtray, and drops the coins into her apron pocket. After ensuring that none of the other visitors needs her attention, Molly goes back inside the café. And just in time to see the barista grinding a new portion of coffee beans too! Another chance to distill his secret…

Sally and Molly walk down a sleepy street, eating mint ice cream and talking a mile a minute like they haven’t seen each other in ages.

“No, Molly, I can’t make it out. What is up with her?”

“Silly chickadee! I tell ya, she’s sweet. I’ll prove it to you. Let’s go!”

The girls turn into a narrow side street. It is adorned with small lanterns, sweet peas in big garden pots, and clotheslines. Sally and Molly approach a tilted shabby fence and find a hole to step through. Of course, the gate is right there—only a brick throw away—and it’s wide open, but who cares about gates when there’s such an alluring fence hole?

The old woman is here. She’s writing something on a scruffy blackboard. When she steps back, Sally and Molly see… a menu. It reads: ‘Madam Maganti’s Bird Pastry. Twenty kinds of the freshest every day cake crumbs!’

Sally stands open-mouthed. Molly smiles, pulls a small package from her pocket, and approaches the old woman.

“Twenty three, ma’am.”

Madam Maganti nods, and goes to the kitchen to put the kettle on the fire.

Day rolls under the bench, jumps one more time, and settles itself in the cozy warm dust. If you ask the cat, it tells you that the day lays tails-up. However, no one really cares.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2019

Open-Source Poetry Three #2

Dear Readers,

Look at what Von Smith, the Great and Terrible, snuck into the comments section of our previous Open-Source Poetry post:

glistened all at once as I entered the bar
then a sad, unoccupied octopus caught my eye
she could see the calamari smile flit across my lips
a tentacle snatched my leg as I turned to leave
silence gripped the bar as she reeled me in
a group of groupers laughed at my panic, as I slid by
never again will I wear “Chicken of the Sea” cologne

We’ve actually had a little argument about this.

Tony reckons that this is Von’s extremely clever attempt to raise our communal poetry making efforts to new creative heights.

But Tati is convinced that Von’s a cybernetically enhanced ex-Navy dolphin whose current aim is to hack into Open Source Poetry using SQUID technology and other sensors implanted in his skull. Tati doesn’t know much about SQUIDs, but she’s heard stories, and she makes a point of never repeating them to Tony. He’d have nightmares for weeks!

So, anyway, Tati believes that Von’s afraid we’ve gotten the drop on him, and that we’re getting too close for comfort. She thinks that he thinks that we think he’s overthinking his next move, and that we’ll capture then torture him into revealing the scary truth about dolphins and their plans for world domination.

And, if that’s what he’s worried about, then he’d be right to tremble his flippers and fins. We won’t give up our World Literature Crusade against bad rhymes and frankenmammals! Yes, Tati and Runn1n90nempty’s daughter are in the game already, and they’re here to stay. Are you in? If so, here’s how you can help:

1) We provide the next line of the poem.
2) You write the following line.
3) You submit your line via the comments section of this very post.
4) We pick the line we like most and add it to the poem.
5) We publish every line to date in a follow-up post.
6) Steps 1-5 are repeated until we have a masterpiece!

Meanwhile, Tony’s calmly sniffing chamomiles as he plays through the water dungeon in Zelda. It would be fair to say that he’s having a whale of a time!

Вензель

wet backs, sharp fangs, dangerous dolphin eyes
waves for crowns and blood in the water
they wade through utter slaughter

Вензель_нижний

by TETIANA ALEKSINA, TONY SINGLE & RUNN1N90NEMPTY’S DAUGHTER
© All rights reserved 2019

ABSURDIS EXTREME // Case Study #643 [23/09/2977] by B.A. Loney

This is the story of a strange phenomena. It was a lonely phenomena that kept happening in all the wrong places to all the wrong people, so naturally it was feared. But you shouldn’t blame it, truly. Its intentions were the right ones, and there’s nothing wrong with trying to make the wrong places and wrong people right, eh?

So, how did this lonely phenomena present itself to the world? Well, in the only way it knew how. It was a presence in a room—the darker the better. It’d sneak up to the wrong persons and whisper the right things, right into their ears. Yes, the right things. Right into their ears. No wonder they shat blue lights! Anyone would. And as they shat themselves, the dark room would become lighter and bluer so that there was no darkness left at all.

The lonely phenomena thought it was doing a good thing, but when the room became well lit, the people it had whispered to would see that there was nothing there, and shit themselves even more. They’d freak out, maybe even cry a bit, and run screaming from the room. And so it was that everything became wronger. Wronger and wronger. So wrong, in fact, that the lonely phenomena eventually gave up and stepped off a very tall building one day.

No one has had anything scary—or even a little untoward—happen to them since.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2019

cutie-pie

4oz salted curiosity
softened at room temperature…

love’s a recipe
for pie to be sliced and et
yeah, screw the waistline

2oz stealthy effervescent looks…

i could refuse it
or have one heavenly piece
two or even three

2 free-range thoughts lightly beaten…

i wanna eat what i may
i wanna love who i love
i wanna feed my lovetooth

4oz self-raising affection…

the choice must be mine
none can force me to partake
to gorge less or more

1 tsp dreams extract…

come away with me
feast across life’s smorgasbord
this banquet is free

a few drops courage…

i wanna eat who i may
i wanna love what i love
i wanna feed my lovetooth

4oz sugar puff lips…

by TETIANA ALEKSINA & TONY SINGLE
© All rights reserved 2018

MERINGUE KISSES // Six Word Story #47

Your kisses are never too tart.

by TETIANA ALEKSINA
© All rights reserved 2018